1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:04,990 [MUSIC PLAYING] 2 00:00:18,460 --> 00:00:21,960 [MUSIC PLAYING] 3 00:03:29,630 --> 00:03:33,020 NARRATOR: This is Los Angeles, California, 4 00:03:33,020 --> 00:03:40,100 third largest city in the USA, home of seven million people. 5 00:03:40,100 --> 00:03:43,440 About half of them are women. 6 00:03:43,440 --> 00:03:45,160 The rest are men. 7 00:03:48,120 --> 00:03:52,350 This is Olvera Street, the city's original thoroughfare-- 8 00:03:52,350 --> 00:03:56,940 a Los Angeles trademark and tourist attraction. 9 00:03:56,940 --> 00:03:59,460 Through preservation and restoration, 10 00:03:59,460 --> 00:04:05,120 Olvera Street is much the same as it was 150 years ago. 11 00:04:05,120 --> 00:04:07,360 It's always been a skin game. 12 00:04:07,360 --> 00:04:10,300 [MUSIC PLAYING] 13 00:04:52,750 --> 00:04:53,720 Move along, you freak. 14 00:04:53,720 --> 00:04:55,110 You're holding up the line. 15 00:04:55,110 --> 00:04:57,040 Like everyone else, you have to pay your taxes. 16 00:04:57,040 --> 00:04:57,870 I cannot pay. 17 00:04:57,870 --> 00:04:59,410 I've had a bad year. 18 00:04:59,410 --> 00:05:10,390 [GRUNTS DISMISSIVELY] 19 00:05:10,390 --> 00:05:12,570 They want my last peso. 20 00:05:12,570 --> 00:05:13,320 I have no money. 21 00:05:13,320 --> 00:05:16,630 And now they want to take my miserable hovel, my cow, 22 00:05:16,630 --> 00:05:18,960 my half acre of land, and my daughter. 23 00:05:26,180 --> 00:05:27,630 What can we do, Pedro? 24 00:05:27,630 --> 00:05:29,070 We have no money either. 25 00:05:29,070 --> 00:05:30,330 [GAVEL THUDS] 26 00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:32,590 All right, you people. 27 00:05:32,590 --> 00:05:34,170 It's April 15. 28 00:05:34,170 --> 00:05:36,330 You all know what that means. 29 00:05:36,330 --> 00:05:37,250 It's tax time. 30 00:05:37,250 --> 00:05:38,860 [GROANING] 31 00:05:38,860 --> 00:05:40,130 [GAVEL THUDS] 32 00:05:40,130 --> 00:05:41,700 LUIS: You want good government? 33 00:05:41,700 --> 00:05:42,940 You got to pay for it! 34 00:05:42,940 --> 00:05:44,290 [GROANING] 35 00:05:44,290 --> 00:05:45,640 [GAVEL THUDS] 36 00:05:45,640 --> 00:05:49,260 Today, we will collect water tax, 37 00:05:49,260 --> 00:05:55,220 income tax, property tax, use tax, 38 00:05:55,220 --> 00:05:57,420 and vehicle registration tax. 39 00:06:00,100 --> 00:06:02,730 Juan Hernandez, 100 pesos. 40 00:06:05,410 --> 00:06:07,380 Next. 41 00:06:07,380 --> 00:06:10,550 Juan Peron, 200 pesos. 42 00:06:10,550 --> 00:06:11,380 Señor, I can't. 43 00:06:11,380 --> 00:06:12,610 It will leave me without a centavo. 44 00:06:12,610 --> 00:06:13,660 [WHIP CRACKS] 45 00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:17,330 I pay. I pay. 46 00:06:17,330 --> 00:06:22,610 Ah, Chico, how are you, with your two lovely daughters 47 00:06:22,610 --> 00:06:23,310 today? 48 00:06:23,310 --> 00:06:24,990 We are all fine, Señor Alcalde. 49 00:06:24,990 --> 00:06:26,850 I'm glad to hear that, Chico. 50 00:06:26,850 --> 00:06:29,200 Then you won't mind paying your taxes, eh? 51 00:06:29,200 --> 00:06:32,670 250 pesos, por favor. 52 00:06:32,670 --> 00:06:33,990 I cannot pay that amount. 53 00:06:33,990 --> 00:06:35,110 I will not pay that amount. 54 00:06:35,110 --> 00:06:36,870 I'll kill you first, you thieving bastard. 55 00:06:36,870 --> 00:06:37,790 [GUNSHOT] 56 00:06:37,790 --> 00:06:39,180 [SCREAMING] 57 00:06:39,180 --> 00:06:41,030 [MUSIC PLAYING] 58 00:06:42,410 --> 00:06:46,330 All right, you people, no rough stuff. 59 00:06:46,330 --> 00:06:48,000 You'll pay for this villainy, Luis Bonasario. 60 00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:51,020 Alejandro, what can we do? 61 00:06:51,020 --> 00:06:53,510 For the horror of it all? 62 00:06:53,510 --> 00:06:56,050 LUIS: Since your father cannot pay his taxes, 63 00:06:56,050 --> 00:06:58,150 you girls must pay. 64 00:06:58,150 --> 00:07:01,440 However, we will let you work off. 65 00:07:01,440 --> 00:07:05,900 Sergeant Latio, take charge of these two tasty wenches 66 00:07:05,900 --> 00:07:11,660 and collect 250 pesos, plus a final 50 pesos 67 00:07:11,660 --> 00:07:14,100 for disturbing the peace. 68 00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:16,070 300 pesos? 69 00:07:16,070 --> 00:07:21,230 They'll be 45 years old by the time they pay it. 70 00:07:21,230 --> 00:07:22,730 [GRUNTS OF STRUGGLE] 71 00:07:22,730 --> 00:07:24,770 Come on. 72 00:07:24,770 --> 00:07:28,900 That's enough of this nice guy shit. 73 00:07:28,900 --> 00:07:31,030 Father in heaven, help us. 74 00:07:31,030 --> 00:07:33,480 Somebody help us. 75 00:07:33,480 --> 00:07:35,770 Alejandro, this cannot go on. 76 00:07:35,770 --> 00:07:37,200 We may be next. 77 00:07:37,200 --> 00:07:40,330 Get that body out of here. 78 00:07:40,330 --> 00:07:41,710 Next. 79 00:07:41,710 --> 00:07:46,220 Vincenze, 200 pesos. 80 00:07:46,220 --> 00:07:48,790 Luis Bonasario and Esteban Velasquez 81 00:07:48,790 --> 00:07:50,260 make a mockery of all that is good right 82 00:07:50,260 --> 00:07:53,550 in the glorious colors of all Spain. 83 00:07:53,550 --> 00:07:54,370 Taxes. 84 00:07:54,370 --> 00:07:57,500 Do you know where every peso of that tax money goes? 85 00:07:57,500 --> 00:07:59,450 Into the pockets of Luis and Esteban, that's where. 86 00:07:59,450 --> 00:08:00,940 [COINS POURING] 87 00:08:02,930 --> 00:08:04,070 Thank you very much. 88 00:08:04,070 --> 00:08:06,860 Next. 89 00:08:06,860 --> 00:08:07,760 How sweet it is. 90 00:08:07,760 --> 00:08:10,250 LUIS: [LAUGHS] 91 00:08:13,740 --> 00:08:17,450 Manuel Vera, 200 pesos. 92 00:08:17,450 --> 00:08:19,150 The score of those bums are making. 93 00:08:19,150 --> 00:08:22,760 And I have heard what happens in Bonasario's offices. 94 00:08:22,760 --> 00:08:25,350 He seducers virgins. He entices-- 95 00:08:25,350 --> 00:08:27,490 LUIS: Next. - --hateful wives into adultery. 96 00:08:27,490 --> 00:08:30,350 They-- LUIS: Roman Alberato, 50 pesos. 97 00:08:30,350 --> 00:08:34,450 They even have orgies. 98 00:08:34,450 --> 00:08:37,160 Esteban commands the presidio. 99 00:08:37,160 --> 00:08:39,660 He has the entire garrison behind him. 100 00:08:39,660 --> 00:08:40,580 LUIS: Chavez Romano-- 101 00:08:40,580 --> 00:08:42,420 He and Luis work hand and glove-- 102 00:08:42,420 --> 00:08:43,160 LUIS: --100 pesos. 103 00:08:43,160 --> 00:08:45,970 --to rob, rape, and pillage our people. 104 00:08:45,970 --> 00:08:50,860 We-- we are too old to take up swords to avenge these wrongs. 105 00:08:50,860 --> 00:08:54,580 The peons, they-- they have no training in fighting. 106 00:08:54,580 --> 00:08:59,000 50 pesos, my friend, Cristina, 50 pesos. 107 00:09:03,280 --> 00:09:05,180 Next. 108 00:09:05,180 --> 00:09:08,420 Alejandro, what can be done? 109 00:09:08,420 --> 00:09:09,830 My son, Diego. 110 00:09:09,830 --> 00:09:11,360 He's been at the Military Institute of Madrid 111 00:09:11,360 --> 00:09:12,680 for the last four years. 112 00:09:12,680 --> 00:09:14,510 The comandante has written me. 113 00:09:14,510 --> 00:09:17,030 Diego is the greatest swordsman and horseman in all of Spain. 114 00:09:17,030 --> 00:09:19,270 I will write him, and he will come home to California. 115 00:09:19,270 --> 00:09:20,280 Yes. Yes. 116 00:09:20,280 --> 00:09:21,720 [MUSIC PLAYING] 117 00:09:21,720 --> 00:09:22,670 That is the answer. 118 00:09:22,670 --> 00:09:24,350 I knew you would think of something. 119 00:09:24,350 --> 00:09:26,600 You must write him today, Don Alejandro. 120 00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:28,280 Because tomorrow, a ship leaves for Spain. 121 00:09:28,280 --> 00:09:28,980 Yes. 122 00:09:28,980 --> 00:09:29,900 Yes. 123 00:09:29,900 --> 00:09:32,650 Come, come. 124 00:09:32,650 --> 00:09:34,030 [WHIP CRACKS] 125 00:09:34,030 --> 00:09:34,900 All right, ladies. 126 00:09:34,900 --> 00:09:38,010 You don't want me to have to use this on you, do you? 127 00:09:38,010 --> 00:09:42,740 It would be a shame to mark up such beautiful wives. 128 00:09:42,740 --> 00:09:45,570 Now, the comandante will be here in a few minutes. 129 00:09:45,570 --> 00:09:50,040 So as we say in Spanish, get your clothes off. 130 00:09:50,040 --> 00:09:51,240 Come on, hurry up! 131 00:09:51,240 --> 00:09:53,340 [MUSIC PLAYING] 132 00:09:55,750 --> 00:09:56,630 Get them off. 133 00:09:56,630 --> 00:09:58,240 It's not a strip tease show. 134 00:10:19,890 --> 00:10:21,370 [DOOR OPENS] 135 00:10:25,300 --> 00:10:26,770 LATIO: Comandante. 136 00:10:34,190 --> 00:10:34,900 Sergeant Latio. 137 00:10:42,220 --> 00:10:43,500 Choice. 138 00:10:43,500 --> 00:10:45,020 Choice. 139 00:10:45,020 --> 00:10:47,670 I may even say prime. 140 00:10:47,670 --> 00:10:51,610 And comandante, they are both virgins. 141 00:10:51,610 --> 00:10:53,030 [WHIMPERING] 142 00:10:53,030 --> 00:10:56,900 We shall see, sergeant. We shall see. 143 00:10:59,880 --> 00:11:01,370 [WHIMPERING] 144 00:11:13,320 --> 00:11:15,060 I think I'll take this one, sergeant. 145 00:11:15,060 --> 00:11:15,810 What's her name? 146 00:11:15,810 --> 00:11:19,910 LATIO: Her name is Rosita, comandante. 147 00:11:19,910 --> 00:11:22,880 If what Sergeant Latio says is true, 148 00:11:22,880 --> 00:11:24,900 consider yourself fortunate, my little chili pepper, 149 00:11:24,900 --> 00:11:27,010 that Captain Esteban Vasquez-- 150 00:11:27,010 --> 00:11:27,940 [SLAP] [YELP] 151 00:11:27,940 --> 00:11:28,770 --is your first man. 152 00:11:31,750 --> 00:11:33,490 Nice to see you have everything in hand, sergeant. 153 00:11:33,490 --> 00:11:35,610 [MUSIC PLAYING] 154 00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:40,230 Wait until she finds out his saber is bent. 155 00:11:40,230 --> 00:11:41,310 Oh well. 156 00:11:41,310 --> 00:11:43,110 That's the way it is in the army. 157 00:11:43,110 --> 00:11:44,910 The comandante gets first choice. 158 00:11:44,910 --> 00:11:49,320 But you, my little tamale, are going to get to entertain 159 00:11:49,320 --> 00:11:52,720 Sergeant Felipio Latio. 160 00:11:52,720 --> 00:11:55,060 But you can call me Phil. - No. 161 00:11:55,060 --> 00:11:56,030 Please. 162 00:11:56,030 --> 00:11:58,480 I'm a virgin. 163 00:11:58,480 --> 00:12:00,240 Virgin? 164 00:12:00,240 --> 00:12:01,770 I believe it. 165 00:12:01,770 --> 00:12:04,000 But when you do what I want, darling, 166 00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:06,070 you'll still be a virgin. 167 00:12:06,070 --> 00:12:07,530 (SOBBING) No. 168 00:12:07,530 --> 00:12:08,500 I can't. 169 00:12:08,500 --> 00:12:10,190 I never-- 170 00:12:10,190 --> 00:12:11,140 Fear bot. 171 00:12:11,140 --> 00:12:12,270 Fear not. 172 00:12:12,270 --> 00:12:15,500 Relief is just a swallow away. 173 00:12:15,500 --> 00:12:17,740 Come on. 174 00:12:17,740 --> 00:12:19,100 Be good. 175 00:12:19,100 --> 00:12:20,060 Come here. 176 00:12:20,060 --> 00:12:21,730 WOMAN: [INAUDIBLE] sergeant. No. 177 00:12:21,730 --> 00:12:22,470 [WHIP CRACKS] 178 00:12:22,470 --> 00:12:23,440 Chow time. 179 00:12:30,680 --> 00:12:33,140 [MUSIC PLAYING] 180 00:13:47,040 --> 00:13:49,040 No. No. 181 00:13:49,040 --> 00:13:51,040 Please. 182 00:13:51,040 --> 00:13:51,990 No. 183 00:13:51,990 --> 00:13:56,130 [PANICKED BREATHING] No. No. 184 00:14:04,450 --> 00:14:05,940 Please, no. 185 00:14:30,880 --> 00:14:32,840 [MOANING] 186 00:15:24,510 --> 00:15:26,500 [MOANING] 187 00:16:00,860 --> 00:16:02,850 [MOANING] 188 00:16:32,730 --> 00:16:34,730 [MOANING] 189 00:18:19,310 --> 00:18:21,300 [GROANS] 190 00:18:24,290 --> 00:18:31,150 Ah, at one swallow came back to Capistrano this year. 191 00:18:31,150 --> 00:18:33,620 [MUSIC PLAYING] 192 00:18:40,520 --> 00:18:42,490 [GALLOPING] 193 00:18:43,970 --> 00:18:44,960 Here they come. 194 00:18:44,960 --> 00:18:47,520 The California Cockerel is in the lead. 195 00:18:47,520 --> 00:18:50,150 10 pesos says he wins. - You have a bet. 196 00:19:11,480 --> 00:19:13,040 Ah, well, he's done it. 197 00:19:13,040 --> 00:19:13,980 Pay up. 198 00:19:17,030 --> 00:19:20,150 Lieutenant Rodriguez isn't going like this. 199 00:19:20,150 --> 00:19:22,720 He thinks he's the best horseman in all of Spain. 200 00:19:22,720 --> 00:19:24,950 Well, at least now he has a rival in Diego de Vega. 201 00:19:24,950 --> 00:19:28,310 [CHUCKLES] Sí, but who do you think is the better swordsman? 202 00:19:28,310 --> 00:19:30,090 - In a duel or in bed? - Ah. 203 00:19:30,090 --> 00:19:32,480 [LAUGHS] Bravo, Diego. 204 00:19:32,480 --> 00:19:34,920 Don Diego, the comandante wants to see you in his office 205 00:19:34,920 --> 00:19:35,940 immediately. - Damn. 206 00:19:35,940 --> 00:19:36,880 Now what? 207 00:19:36,880 --> 00:19:38,780 Whose heart did you break this time, Diego? 208 00:19:38,780 --> 00:19:39,980 Broken hearts don't bother me. 209 00:19:39,980 --> 00:19:41,080 It's the parts that can't knitted 210 00:19:41,080 --> 00:19:42,630 that cause the most trouble. 211 00:19:42,630 --> 00:19:44,670 Tell the comandante I'll be there in a minute. 212 00:19:44,670 --> 00:19:45,980 OK. 213 00:19:45,980 --> 00:19:47,420 I wanted to buy a little gift for Lolita 214 00:19:47,420 --> 00:19:49,700 for the party tonight, but now there won't be time. 215 00:19:49,700 --> 00:19:52,580 Ah, I don't worry about the eternal virgin, Lolita. 216 00:19:52,580 --> 00:19:55,370 Put something in a box and she's happy. 217 00:19:55,370 --> 00:19:56,720 But I wonder why in the name of heaven, 218 00:19:56,720 --> 00:19:58,910 she keeps pretending she's a maiden. 219 00:19:58,910 --> 00:20:00,530 Woman folly, my friend. Woman folly. 220 00:20:00,530 --> 00:20:01,460 [LAUGHS] 221 00:20:05,420 --> 00:20:07,890 [SOLDERS RUNNING DRILLS IN BACKGROUND] 222 00:20:10,850 --> 00:20:13,320 [KNOCK ON DOOR] 223 00:20:13,320 --> 00:20:14,310 Come in. 224 00:20:20,240 --> 00:20:21,720 [CLEARS THROAT] 225 00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:22,760 Oh, it's you, Diego. 226 00:20:22,760 --> 00:20:24,380 Well, have a seat. 227 00:20:24,380 --> 00:20:25,540 I'll be with you in a moment. 228 00:20:31,340 --> 00:20:33,040 You wanted to see me, comandante? 229 00:20:33,040 --> 00:20:35,600 Sí. I have something for you here. 230 00:20:35,600 --> 00:20:37,310 It's a letter from your father. 231 00:20:37,310 --> 00:20:39,100 A letter? From my father? 232 00:20:50,300 --> 00:20:54,690 (READING) My dearest son, our fine community is being 233 00:20:54,690 --> 00:20:57,890 raped by the new alcalde-- 234 00:20:57,890 --> 00:21:00,400 our women too. 235 00:21:00,400 --> 00:21:01,570 Come home at once. 236 00:21:01,570 --> 00:21:04,660 We need your help to stamp out this heel. 237 00:21:04,660 --> 00:21:06,430 It's signed "father." 238 00:21:12,230 --> 00:21:14,950 sir, I must return to help my people. 239 00:21:14,950 --> 00:21:16,120 May I have your permission to leave 240 00:21:16,120 --> 00:21:19,670 the academy until these renegades are eliminated? 241 00:21:19,670 --> 00:21:20,770 Yes. Of course. 242 00:21:20,770 --> 00:21:22,100 Of course. 243 00:21:22,100 --> 00:21:24,730 We'll wish you, but I understand. 244 00:21:24,730 --> 00:21:26,190 Give my regards to your father. 245 00:21:26,190 --> 00:21:27,480 Sí. 246 00:21:27,480 --> 00:21:29,070 Gracias. 247 00:21:29,070 --> 00:21:30,930 I'll leave first thing in the morning. 248 00:21:30,930 --> 00:21:31,910 Good luck. 249 00:21:41,220 --> 00:21:43,670 [MUSIC PLAYING] 250 00:21:46,640 --> 00:21:48,640 [BACKGROUND CHATTER] 251 00:21:53,420 --> 00:22:03,360 [GLASSES CLINKING AND LAUGHTER] 252 00:22:03,360 --> 00:22:05,280 Diego, over here. 253 00:22:08,080 --> 00:22:09,440 Pablo, Manuel. 254 00:22:09,440 --> 00:22:11,160 We heard. 255 00:22:11,160 --> 00:22:13,110 So instead of a party to celebrate 256 00:22:13,110 --> 00:22:16,490 Lolita's becoming a common woman again, 257 00:22:16,490 --> 00:22:18,520 it's a farewell to Diego. - Salud. 258 00:22:18,520 --> 00:22:19,220 Salud. 259 00:22:22,070 --> 00:22:24,530 [CHATTER AND LAUGHTER] 260 00:22:33,400 --> 00:22:36,520 Tell me, is Los Angeles really so bad? 261 00:22:36,520 --> 00:22:38,640 Terrible, according to my father-- 262 00:22:38,640 --> 00:22:39,940 terror, villainy, rape. 263 00:22:43,540 --> 00:22:44,950 [CRASH] 264 00:22:44,950 --> 00:22:45,900 [THUD] 265 00:22:45,900 --> 00:22:47,400 Let's forget about all that for now. 266 00:22:47,400 --> 00:22:48,860 It's supposed to be a party. 267 00:22:48,860 --> 00:22:50,580 To wine, women. 268 00:23:07,770 --> 00:23:10,050 Mmm. 269 00:23:10,050 --> 00:23:12,240 She's really luscious tonight, huh? 270 00:23:22,360 --> 00:23:23,660 [CHAIR GROANS] 271 00:23:44,830 --> 00:23:47,820 CROWD: Olé! Olé! 272 00:23:56,600 --> 00:23:57,300 Olé! 273 00:24:04,090 --> 00:24:04,790 Olé! 274 00:24:24,130 --> 00:24:25,590 [MUSIC PLAYING] 275 00:25:46,470 --> 00:25:48,930 [ELATED LAUGHTER IN BACKGROUND] 276 00:26:03,150 --> 00:26:04,640 [MOANING] 277 00:26:55,440 --> 00:26:56,930 [MOANING] 278 00:27:04,900 --> 00:27:06,400 [LAUGHTER] 279 00:27:22,200 --> 00:27:23,630 [LAUGHTER] 280 00:27:38,690 --> 00:27:40,190 [MOANING] 281 00:28:02,670 --> 00:28:05,880 Bravo, bravo, bravo. 282 00:28:05,880 --> 00:28:08,390 Marvelous exhibition, Diego. 283 00:28:08,390 --> 00:28:09,960 But I don't think you really know anything 284 00:28:09,960 --> 00:28:12,980 about women or lovemaking. 285 00:28:15,930 --> 00:28:24,550 [LAUGHS] Oh, you, who walks around in women's clothing when 286 00:28:24,550 --> 00:28:32,680 you think no one is watching, talks to me about women, 287 00:28:32,680 --> 00:28:33,480 lovemaking? 288 00:28:33,480 --> 00:28:34,910 How dare you? 289 00:28:34,910 --> 00:28:36,380 I demand an apology at once! 290 00:28:39,840 --> 00:28:43,110 Fuck off. 291 00:28:43,110 --> 00:28:44,770 En garde! 292 00:28:44,770 --> 00:28:46,190 It shall be a fight to the finish. 293 00:28:49,040 --> 00:28:54,260 Look, Rodriguez, this whole thing is ridiculous. 294 00:28:54,260 --> 00:28:54,960 This is a party. 295 00:28:57,910 --> 00:29:00,200 Join us, if you like. 296 00:29:00,200 --> 00:29:03,250 There's plenty of everything to go around. 297 00:29:03,250 --> 00:29:05,520 Get your sword up, Diego. 298 00:29:05,520 --> 00:29:07,870 We'll see who are the better man he is. 299 00:29:07,870 --> 00:29:10,370 [MUSIC PLAYING] 300 00:29:11,370 --> 00:29:13,200 I have never met a man who wanted 301 00:29:13,200 --> 00:29:16,870 to die as much as you do. 302 00:29:22,700 --> 00:29:28,780 You're half drunk, so we'll make it a fair fight. 303 00:29:52,530 --> 00:29:54,030 [SWISH] 304 00:29:56,020 --> 00:29:58,010 [BLADES CLASHING] 305 00:30:13,450 --> 00:30:15,940 [LAUGHTER] 306 00:30:55,780 --> 00:30:57,770 [LAUGHTER] 307 00:31:04,810 --> 00:31:08,200 Quit while you're ahead, Rodriguez. 308 00:31:08,200 --> 00:31:09,780 This is madness. 309 00:31:09,780 --> 00:31:11,470 Quit before you get hurt. 310 00:31:11,470 --> 00:31:14,540 I'll kill you and cut them off for souvenirs. 311 00:31:14,540 --> 00:31:16,540 Take your best shot, Rod. 312 00:31:16,540 --> 00:31:18,380 [BLADE CLATTERS] 313 00:31:20,680 --> 00:31:23,350 Next time, don't wave your sword at someone 314 00:31:23,350 --> 00:31:28,640 who has a superior weapon and knows how to use it. 315 00:31:28,640 --> 00:31:30,110 [SWISH] 316 00:31:31,090 --> 00:31:33,050 [THUD] 317 00:31:33,050 --> 00:31:36,220 [LAUGHS] Ah, what an exit. 318 00:31:36,220 --> 00:31:37,300 CROWD: Bravo! 319 00:31:37,300 --> 00:31:39,600 Bravo! 320 00:31:39,600 --> 00:31:42,740 Oh, Diego, must you go so soon? 321 00:31:42,740 --> 00:31:44,050 Yes. 322 00:31:44,050 --> 00:31:45,930 I have to be on my way to California 323 00:31:45,930 --> 00:31:46,630 early in the morning. 324 00:31:51,040 --> 00:31:52,510 [LIPS SMACK] 325 00:31:55,950 --> 00:31:57,190 Adiós, my friends. MEN: Bravo! 326 00:31:57,190 --> 00:31:57,890 Adiós. 327 00:31:57,890 --> 00:31:58,830 MEN: Adiós. 328 00:31:58,830 --> 00:32:01,040 [LAUGHTER] 329 00:32:05,460 --> 00:32:08,910 [MUSIC PLAYING] 330 00:32:20,260 --> 00:32:23,190 Oh, Don Alejandro, Martinez family 331 00:32:23,190 --> 00:32:25,060 is already the ninth family that has fled 332 00:32:25,060 --> 00:32:26,960 Los Angeles for Mexico City. 333 00:32:26,960 --> 00:32:29,670 And we pay the taxes imposed on them by this vermin 334 00:32:29,670 --> 00:32:31,720 who is Bonasario. 335 00:32:31,720 --> 00:32:34,740 And on the Sabbath, those that come to church, 336 00:32:34,740 --> 00:32:37,160 the sadness in their faces-- 337 00:32:37,160 --> 00:32:39,660 oh, the misery of it all. 338 00:32:39,660 --> 00:32:42,000 Don Alejandro, this cannot go on. 339 00:32:46,470 --> 00:32:48,480 Diego, my son. 340 00:32:48,480 --> 00:32:51,020 [LAUGHS] Diego. 341 00:32:51,020 --> 00:32:53,170 Diego. 342 00:32:53,170 --> 00:32:54,970 It is so good to have you home again. 343 00:32:54,970 --> 00:32:57,610 It's good to be home, father. 344 00:32:57,610 --> 00:32:59,530 You remember Don Manuel. 345 00:32:59,530 --> 00:33:02,280 Don Manuel, my father's dearest friend. 346 00:33:02,280 --> 00:33:03,520 How are you? - Fine, fine. 347 00:33:03,520 --> 00:33:04,220 Thank you. 348 00:33:04,220 --> 00:33:05,860 And your wife, Doña Amelia? 349 00:33:05,860 --> 00:33:07,030 Oh, she's fine too. 350 00:33:07,030 --> 00:33:08,200 The family, aha! 351 00:33:08,200 --> 00:33:10,120 - Your son, Porjito? - Fine, fine. 352 00:33:10,120 --> 00:33:13,250 Look how big and strong he got. 353 00:33:13,250 --> 00:33:14,790 Of course, you remember your beloved teacher 354 00:33:14,790 --> 00:33:17,860 and priest, Frey Felipe. 355 00:33:17,860 --> 00:33:19,710 Frey Felipe. 356 00:33:19,710 --> 00:33:22,380 Next to my dear father, you are the man I respected and loved 357 00:33:22,380 --> 00:33:24,950 most in this whole world. 358 00:33:24,950 --> 00:33:27,640 Ah, Diego, what a splendid person 359 00:33:27,640 --> 00:33:28,870 you have turned out to be. 360 00:33:28,870 --> 00:33:32,530 How proud I am that I was your first instructor. 361 00:33:32,530 --> 00:33:35,920 Heaven will surely reward you for answering your father's 362 00:33:35,920 --> 00:33:40,280 call on this, our hour of need. 363 00:33:40,280 --> 00:33:42,400 So tell me, who is doing what to whom? 364 00:33:45,110 --> 00:33:48,430 When you went to study in Spain, I, 365 00:33:48,430 --> 00:33:52,870 Don Alejandro Vega, good, just, and well-liked 366 00:33:52,870 --> 00:33:54,770 alcalde of Los Angeles-- 367 00:33:54,770 --> 00:33:57,670 a position I held for many years with great honor-- 368 00:33:57,670 --> 00:34:00,210 That's right. 369 00:34:00,210 --> 00:34:04,000 And one terrible day, this slimy Luis Bonasario 370 00:34:04,000 --> 00:34:05,690 arrived in our city and proclaimed 371 00:34:05,690 --> 00:34:06,880 himself the new alcalde. 372 00:34:06,880 --> 00:34:09,050 But how did this happen? 373 00:34:09,050 --> 00:34:12,460 An appointment the governor himself, signed, sealed, 374 00:34:12,460 --> 00:34:13,620 and legal. 375 00:34:13,620 --> 00:34:16,470 And to back his appointment, came the henchmen-- 376 00:34:16,470 --> 00:34:18,940 Capitan Esteban Velazquez and Sergeant 377 00:34:18,940 --> 00:34:20,800 Felipio Latio, along with a score 378 00:34:20,800 --> 00:34:22,580 of battle-trained soldiers. 379 00:34:22,580 --> 00:34:24,220 But why didn't you write the governor 380 00:34:24,220 --> 00:34:27,190 and ask where such a person was appointed in your place? 381 00:34:27,190 --> 00:34:28,390 I did many times. 382 00:34:28,390 --> 00:34:29,830 And he has never answered those letters. 383 00:34:33,930 --> 00:34:35,800 Obviously, one of two things has happened. 384 00:34:35,800 --> 00:34:38,390 These scoundrels are either tampering with the mail-- 385 00:34:38,390 --> 00:34:40,250 [GLOBE RATTLES] 386 00:34:42,240 --> 00:34:43,930 --or-- BOTH: Or? 387 00:34:43,930 --> 00:34:45,850 --the governor himself is a thief. 388 00:34:45,850 --> 00:34:47,390 ALEJANDRO: Diego, with taxes what they are, 389 00:34:47,390 --> 00:34:48,720 it won't be long before Bonasario 390 00:34:48,720 --> 00:34:50,010 owns all of Los Angeles. 391 00:34:50,010 --> 00:34:51,210 Already, some of our wealthy friends 392 00:34:51,210 --> 00:34:52,480 have had to sell out to him. 393 00:34:52,480 --> 00:34:55,180 And now he even wants to tax the mission lands. 394 00:34:55,180 --> 00:34:56,540 This is why your father sent for you. 395 00:34:56,540 --> 00:34:59,050 FELIPE: The comandante of the military academy 396 00:34:59,050 --> 00:35:02,340 wrote your father and said you are the greatest horseman 397 00:35:02,340 --> 00:35:04,480 and swordsman in all of Spain. 398 00:35:04,480 --> 00:35:07,170 Oh, my son, how proud I am of you. 399 00:35:07,170 --> 00:35:10,060 Diego, maybe you could form an army 400 00:35:10,060 --> 00:35:12,080 and wipe out this Bonasario. 401 00:35:12,080 --> 00:35:14,190 Where would I recruit an army, father? 402 00:35:14,190 --> 00:35:15,900 - The peons. - No. 403 00:35:15,900 --> 00:35:17,080 That would take too long a time. 404 00:35:17,080 --> 00:35:18,540 We must act immediately. 405 00:35:18,540 --> 00:35:20,800 BOTH: What shall we do? 406 00:35:20,800 --> 00:35:23,070 You will carry on as if nothing has happened. 407 00:35:23,070 --> 00:35:26,090 Tomorrow, I will visit this Bonasario and Velasquez 408 00:35:26,090 --> 00:35:27,930 at the presidio in person. 409 00:35:27,930 --> 00:35:29,980 What can you possibly do alone? 410 00:35:29,980 --> 00:35:31,850 [SNORTING] 411 00:35:32,790 --> 00:35:34,190 [SNEEZES] 412 00:35:34,190 --> 00:35:37,440 Bless you, son. 413 00:35:37,440 --> 00:35:38,930 Well, one can try, can't one? 414 00:35:38,930 --> 00:35:40,400 [MUSIC PLAYING] 415 00:35:40,400 --> 00:35:44,540 And now, papa, Don Manuel, and dear Frey Felipe, I 416 00:35:44,540 --> 00:35:47,100 am literally exhausted from the journey. 417 00:35:47,100 --> 00:35:50,410 You'll excuse me if I go beddy-byes? 418 00:35:50,410 --> 00:35:54,030 Oh, and Don Manuel, please give my very, very best to your son, 419 00:35:54,030 --> 00:35:55,100 Porjito. 420 00:35:55,100 --> 00:35:56,510 Tell them I'll be seeing him soon. 421 00:36:03,720 --> 00:36:08,540 These military schools can do funny things to a boy. 422 00:36:08,540 --> 00:36:10,730 Hmm. [CLAP] 423 00:36:11,720 --> 00:36:14,700 [MUSIC PLAYING] 424 00:36:41,990 --> 00:36:44,960 Nothing but bills, bills. 425 00:36:44,960 --> 00:36:46,580 Nothing but fucking bills. 426 00:36:46,580 --> 00:36:48,380 I think, tomorrow, we're going to raise 427 00:36:48,380 --> 00:36:49,920 the taxes, Esteban, eh? 428 00:36:49,920 --> 00:36:51,320 [CHUCKLES] 429 00:37:14,280 --> 00:37:16,230 I am Don Diego de Vega. 430 00:37:16,230 --> 00:37:18,300 I wish to see the alcalde. 431 00:37:18,300 --> 00:37:19,160 One moment, señor. 432 00:37:22,710 --> 00:37:26,520 One simply must have a parasol to protect 433 00:37:26,520 --> 00:37:30,580 one's delicate complexion from the burning rays of the sun. 434 00:37:30,580 --> 00:37:32,810 [CHUCKLES] Sí, señor. 435 00:37:32,810 --> 00:37:35,040 Don Diego de Vega to see the alcalde. 436 00:37:35,040 --> 00:37:37,080 Send him in. 437 00:37:37,080 --> 00:37:37,920 Send him in. 438 00:37:37,920 --> 00:37:40,050 The alcalde will see you now. 439 00:37:40,050 --> 00:37:43,410 Thank you. 440 00:37:43,410 --> 00:37:45,380 You are all very kind. 441 00:37:50,670 --> 00:37:52,980 Your Excellency, I am Don Diego de Vega. 442 00:37:56,160 --> 00:37:59,600 Don Alejandro Vega's son. 443 00:37:59,600 --> 00:38:00,460 Ah. 444 00:38:00,460 --> 00:38:03,260 Don Diego, how nice it is to meet you. 445 00:38:03,260 --> 00:38:05,520 [CHUCKLES] Yes. 446 00:38:05,520 --> 00:38:09,300 Well, Don Diego, I thought that you were Spain at school. 447 00:38:09,300 --> 00:38:12,690 I've had enough of schools, Your Excellency. 448 00:38:12,690 --> 00:38:15,820 I was lonesome for my family, my friends. 449 00:38:15,820 --> 00:38:18,080 [WOMEN LAUGHING IN DISTANCE] 450 00:38:18,990 --> 00:38:20,840 I told them to be quiet. 451 00:38:20,840 --> 00:38:22,770 But obviously, they've had too much wine. 452 00:38:26,530 --> 00:38:28,030 Mwah. 453 00:38:28,030 --> 00:38:29,400 Oooh. 454 00:38:29,400 --> 00:38:30,890 Such fine plumage. 455 00:38:30,890 --> 00:38:33,260 Whose closet did he come from? 456 00:38:33,260 --> 00:38:34,360 Graciela, don't be impertinent. 457 00:38:34,360 --> 00:38:38,400 This is Don Diego de Vega, son of the former alcalde. 458 00:38:38,400 --> 00:38:40,100 Show some respect. 459 00:38:40,100 --> 00:38:42,100 And I thought I told you to wait for me inside. 460 00:38:42,100 --> 00:38:42,800 Oh. 461 00:38:42,800 --> 00:38:46,920 Well, it got too hot and we couldn't wait, eh? 462 00:38:46,920 --> 00:38:49,410 Don Diego, forgive us for being so rude, 463 00:38:49,410 --> 00:38:52,170 but you've arrived at the most inopportune time. 464 00:38:52,170 --> 00:38:54,870 As you can see, we have some unfinished business 465 00:38:54,870 --> 00:38:55,680 to attend to. 466 00:38:55,680 --> 00:38:57,110 You didn't apologize, comandante. 467 00:38:57,110 --> 00:38:59,220 I understand perfectly. 468 00:38:59,220 --> 00:39:01,250 We can meet again. 469 00:39:01,250 --> 00:39:03,680 Before I leave, though, I wonder if you'll be kind enough 470 00:39:03,680 --> 00:39:05,150 to tell me who is your tailor? 471 00:39:07,870 --> 00:39:10,050 How exquisite. 472 00:39:10,050 --> 00:39:10,750 Yes. 473 00:39:10,750 --> 00:39:14,900 You are obviously a man of good taste. 474 00:39:14,900 --> 00:39:20,040 I do hope we can meet again [quietly] soon. 475 00:39:20,040 --> 00:39:25,700 Oh, by the way, comandante, have you seen this one? 476 00:39:25,700 --> 00:39:26,560 [LAUGHS] 477 00:39:26,560 --> 00:39:29,160 Don Diego, you must excuse us. 478 00:39:29,160 --> 00:39:31,350 We would invite you to join us for the evening, 479 00:39:31,350 --> 00:39:34,400 but I'm afraid we don't know where to find someone 480 00:39:34,400 --> 00:39:36,500 to suit your proclivities, eh? 481 00:39:36,500 --> 00:39:37,590 [LAUGHTER] 482 00:39:37,590 --> 00:39:38,700 Of course. 483 00:39:38,700 --> 00:39:40,380 Another time, Excellency. 484 00:39:43,070 --> 00:39:46,340 You do have the most beautiful things, comandante. 485 00:39:46,340 --> 00:39:48,290 Hasta manana. 486 00:39:48,290 --> 00:39:50,250 [LAUGHTER] 487 00:40:01,510 --> 00:40:05,190 That faggot, talking to me that way. 488 00:40:05,190 --> 00:40:08,470 I'll give him three feet of cold steel. 489 00:40:08,470 --> 00:40:11,650 He must know you, Esteban, dear. 490 00:40:11,650 --> 00:40:16,030 After all, you do have the most beautiful things. 491 00:40:16,030 --> 00:40:17,830 [LAUGHS] 492 00:40:17,830 --> 00:40:20,870 We'll have no trouble from him, eh, Esteban? 493 00:40:20,870 --> 00:40:23,400 Are you still hot, my little chicken? 494 00:40:23,400 --> 00:40:24,480 Sí. 495 00:40:24,480 --> 00:40:27,340 And I think there are some things that you 496 00:40:27,340 --> 00:40:31,740 should take care of personally. 497 00:40:31,740 --> 00:40:36,040 As for you, Señor Comandante, you've got a big job. 498 00:40:36,040 --> 00:40:38,770 Ah, you like the job you have. 499 00:40:38,770 --> 00:40:40,480 Hey, I think, maybe-- 500 00:40:40,480 --> 00:40:42,760 I think, maybe from now on, you better when 501 00:40:42,760 --> 00:40:44,900 I tell you to do and get it done, 502 00:40:44,900 --> 00:40:49,560 or maybe my friend, Don Diego, will let me know playmate, eh? 503 00:40:49,560 --> 00:40:51,420 [LAUGHS] 504 00:40:54,410 --> 00:40:56,410 [LAUGHTER] 505 00:41:03,390 --> 00:41:06,390 [MUSIC PLAYING] 506 00:41:13,510 --> 00:41:15,360 [LAUGHTER] 507 00:41:22,520 --> 00:41:24,990 [MUSIC PLAYING] 508 00:41:31,950 --> 00:41:34,430 [LAUGHTER] 509 00:41:34,430 --> 00:41:38,410 What do you got here, [INAUDIBLE]?? 510 00:41:38,410 --> 00:41:40,890 [SCREAMING] 511 00:41:43,380 --> 00:41:45,380 Ah, very nice. 512 00:41:45,380 --> 00:41:48,650 Very nice. 513 00:41:48,650 --> 00:41:51,630 Tie them up, eh? 514 00:41:51,630 --> 00:41:53,610 I got something for you. 515 00:41:53,610 --> 00:41:56,600 [SOBBING] 516 00:41:56,600 --> 00:41:58,590 [SCREAMING] - No! 517 00:42:02,560 --> 00:42:07,030 [INAUDIBLE] I got a bigger snake than this for you. 518 00:42:07,030 --> 00:42:09,520 [LAUGHS] 519 00:42:09,520 --> 00:42:11,510 [SCREAMING] 520 00:42:16,480 --> 00:42:25,420 Come on [INAUDIBLE] - No! 521 00:42:32,880 --> 00:42:38,340 [INAUDIBLE] I got a bigger snake than this for you. 522 00:42:38,340 --> 00:42:40,330 [LAUGHS] 523 00:42:47,290 --> 00:42:48,780 [GALLOPING] 524 00:42:48,780 --> 00:42:51,760 [MUSIC PLAYING] 525 00:42:56,240 --> 00:42:57,730 [THUD] 526 00:43:02,700 --> 00:43:04,260 See what the note is. 527 00:43:04,260 --> 00:43:05,000 You can read. 528 00:43:05,000 --> 00:43:07,430 What does it say? 529 00:43:07,430 --> 00:43:11,710 (READING) Know, you, that Luis Bonasario is a thief, 530 00:43:11,710 --> 00:43:16,050 and a tyrant, and cannot long escape my justice. 531 00:43:16,050 --> 00:43:17,750 Signed, Zorro. 532 00:43:17,750 --> 00:43:18,540 Zorro? 533 00:43:18,540 --> 00:43:20,520 Who the fuck is Zorro? 534 00:43:20,520 --> 00:43:24,550 I don't know, but he tells it like it is. 535 00:43:24,550 --> 00:43:25,420 What's going on? 536 00:43:28,250 --> 00:43:31,230 Get out of here, you ignorant peasants. 537 00:43:31,230 --> 00:43:32,110 Ándale! 538 00:43:32,110 --> 00:43:32,850 Ándale! 539 00:43:32,850 --> 00:43:33,750 Vámonos! 540 00:43:33,750 --> 00:43:34,700 [INAUDIBLE] 541 00:43:34,700 --> 00:43:37,060 [MUSIC PLAYING] 542 00:43:39,430 --> 00:43:40,850 Hmm. 543 00:43:40,850 --> 00:43:43,800 I go a funny feeling if I could read, 544 00:43:43,800 --> 00:43:46,460 this thing going to piss me off pretty bad. 545 00:44:11,550 --> 00:44:13,030 - Do you see him? - No. 546 00:44:13,030 --> 00:44:14,480 You look there. 547 00:44:36,300 --> 00:44:37,290 [THUMP] 548 00:44:55,560 --> 00:44:57,760 Psst. Psst. 549 00:44:57,760 --> 00:45:00,040 You in there, quickly, before we're discovered. 550 00:45:00,040 --> 00:45:01,240 Please. 551 00:45:01,240 --> 00:45:02,980 Please, leave us alone. 552 00:45:02,980 --> 00:45:05,870 Haven't you had enough for one day? 553 00:45:05,870 --> 00:45:07,150 Have no fear, señorita. 554 00:45:07,150 --> 00:45:08,990 I want to help you escape. - Escape? 555 00:45:08,990 --> 00:45:10,930 WOMAN: It must be a trick. 556 00:45:10,930 --> 00:45:13,590 [SIGHS] This is no trick, but come quickly now, 557 00:45:13,590 --> 00:45:14,770 before we're discovered. 558 00:45:14,770 --> 00:45:17,250 I don't want to escape. 559 00:45:17,250 --> 00:45:19,230 [KEY RATTLING] 560 00:45:27,650 --> 00:45:29,200 Be quiet and follow me. 561 00:45:29,200 --> 00:45:31,040 [MUSIC PLAYING] 562 00:45:41,290 --> 00:45:42,780 What are you doing? 563 00:45:42,780 --> 00:45:45,270 Be quiet. 564 00:45:45,270 --> 00:45:46,920 I just want to make sure the brutes 565 00:45:46,920 --> 00:45:50,210 didn't your beautiful body. 566 00:45:53,210 --> 00:45:55,210 [LAUGHS] 567 00:45:57,210 --> 00:45:58,710 [GASPS] 568 00:45:58,710 --> 00:46:00,210 [COMICAL MUSIC NOTE] 569 00:46:03,210 --> 00:46:05,700 Ah, very nice. 570 00:46:05,700 --> 00:46:07,110 Sergeant Latio has taste. 571 00:46:11,640 --> 00:46:12,620 [GASPS] 572 00:46:12,620 --> 00:46:14,110 [COMICAL MUSIC NOTE] 573 00:46:16,100 --> 00:46:18,070 Drive slowly or you'll arouse the soldiers. 574 00:46:18,070 --> 00:46:18,770 Wait. 575 00:46:18,770 --> 00:46:21,350 Who are you, masked man, and how can we thank you? 576 00:46:21,350 --> 00:46:23,990 I'm sure that, someday, you'll find a way. 577 00:46:23,990 --> 00:46:25,820 Stay away from your house. 578 00:46:25,820 --> 00:46:26,720 Now go. 579 00:46:26,720 --> 00:46:27,810 Find safety with friends. 580 00:46:34,880 --> 00:46:37,090 GUARD: Halt. Who goes there? 581 00:46:37,090 --> 00:46:39,560 [MUSIC PLAYING] 582 00:46:46,480 --> 00:46:50,090 LATIO: Now what are we going to do without women? 583 00:46:50,090 --> 00:46:54,820 Just because you use little boys doesn't mean everybody does. 584 00:46:54,820 --> 00:46:59,780 Estúpidos, ignoramuses, imbeciles, [INAUDIBLE]!! 585 00:46:59,780 --> 00:47:06,280 And you, you [INAUDIBLE] you idiot. 586 00:47:06,280 --> 00:47:07,660 Now find them! 587 00:47:07,660 --> 00:47:11,000 Find them and bring them back here immediately or you're 588 00:47:11,000 --> 00:47:14,790 all going to tending bar at the [INAUDIBLE] at the [INAUDIBLE]!! 589 00:47:14,790 --> 00:47:16,330 Out! Out! 590 00:47:16,330 --> 00:47:17,320 Ándale! 591 00:47:17,320 --> 00:47:18,320 Ándale! 592 00:47:18,320 --> 00:47:19,810 Imbeciles! 593 00:47:19,810 --> 00:47:22,790 [MUSIC PLAYING] 594 00:47:32,730 --> 00:47:34,220 MAN (FROM INSIDE): All right. 595 00:47:34,220 --> 00:47:35,990 Another game of Bingo. 596 00:47:35,990 --> 00:47:37,870 Hold your cards, please. 597 00:47:37,870 --> 00:47:43,470 Under the R, [INAUDIBLE] under the [INAUDIBLE] 34. 598 00:47:43,470 --> 00:47:46,390 Under the [INAUDIBLE] 18. 599 00:47:46,390 --> 00:47:49,310 Under the G, 54. 600 00:47:49,310 --> 00:47:52,230 Under the M, 37. 601 00:47:52,230 --> 00:47:54,670 Under the O, 69. 602 00:47:54,670 --> 00:47:55,640 MAN: Bingo! 603 00:47:55,640 --> 00:47:57,620 EVERYONE: [INAUDIBLE] 604 00:47:57,620 --> 00:47:59,290 MAN: [INAUDIBLE] your cards, please. 605 00:47:59,290 --> 00:48:00,250 There may be a mistake. 606 00:48:21,830 --> 00:48:24,800 Father, I have a wonderful confession to make. 607 00:48:27,660 --> 00:48:29,740 What is it, my little, uh-- 608 00:48:29,740 --> 00:48:30,810 my child? 609 00:48:30,810 --> 00:48:33,660 Father, I've decided to become a nun. 610 00:48:33,660 --> 00:48:35,170 Don't you think that's wonderful? 611 00:48:35,170 --> 00:48:38,550 An admirable decision, but you shouldn't 612 00:48:38,550 --> 00:48:41,460 make up your mind while you're still young and inexperienced. 613 00:48:41,460 --> 00:48:43,050 What do you mean, Father? 614 00:48:43,050 --> 00:48:45,270 You should find out what life is all about. 615 00:48:45,270 --> 00:48:49,260 Why, a beautiful girl like you, you must have many young men. 616 00:48:49,260 --> 00:48:52,880 So get married, have a family. 617 00:48:52,880 --> 00:48:54,690 And if you still want to become a nun, come back 618 00:48:54,690 --> 00:48:55,990 and we'll work something out. 619 00:48:55,990 --> 00:48:58,920 Father, how can you say such things? 620 00:48:58,920 --> 00:49:02,600 I mean, if I were to become a nun, I must remain a virgin. 621 00:49:02,600 --> 00:49:03,870 What a waste. 622 00:49:03,870 --> 00:49:06,300 What I'm trying to tell you, my dear, is that you don't 623 00:49:06,300 --> 00:49:07,950 have sufficient experience. 624 00:49:07,950 --> 00:49:09,690 So live a little. 625 00:49:09,690 --> 00:49:12,150 Father, I do not understand. 626 00:49:12,150 --> 00:49:15,330 I thought if I became a nun, it would please you. 627 00:49:15,330 --> 00:49:18,980 There are other better ways for you to please me. 628 00:49:18,980 --> 00:49:21,520 What do you mean? Father? 629 00:49:26,780 --> 00:49:28,960 What is it, Sergeant Latio? 630 00:49:28,960 --> 00:49:31,870 Señorita Maria, we are looking for a man in a long, 631 00:49:31,870 --> 00:49:33,130 black, flowing cape. 632 00:49:33,130 --> 00:49:34,940 Have you seen such a man? 633 00:49:34,940 --> 00:49:35,910 I saw no one. 634 00:49:35,910 --> 00:49:38,360 I was just confessing to the padre. 635 00:49:38,360 --> 00:49:40,990 But who is the man with the dark cape? 636 00:49:40,990 --> 00:49:44,180 His name is Zorro, and he's a very dangerous man. 637 00:49:44,180 --> 00:49:46,820 He has just helped two prisoners to escape. 638 00:49:46,820 --> 00:49:48,100 If you see him, beware. 639 00:49:56,500 --> 00:50:00,510 Señorita Maria, we're sorry to have disturbed you. 640 00:50:00,510 --> 00:50:03,820 Padre, we apologize for disturbing you. 641 00:50:03,820 --> 00:50:04,780 Fear not. 642 00:50:04,780 --> 00:50:06,720 We will get Zorro. Come. 643 00:50:18,980 --> 00:50:19,970 Adiós, chiquita. 644 00:50:24,470 --> 00:50:27,460 [MUSIC PLAYING] 645 00:50:30,450 --> 00:50:31,450 [CLANG] 646 00:50:32,450 --> 00:50:33,450 [GROAN] 647 00:50:34,450 --> 00:50:35,940 [CLACK] 648 00:50:35,940 --> 00:50:36,940 [SWISH] 649 00:50:38,940 --> 00:50:40,930 [LAUGHS] 650 00:50:54,900 --> 00:50:56,400 [GUNSHOT] 651 00:50:58,900 --> 00:51:01,390 [GUNS FIRING] 652 00:51:01,390 --> 00:51:04,190 [MUSIC PLAYING] 653 00:51:12,350 --> 00:51:13,310 [LID SLAMS] 654 00:51:13,310 --> 00:51:14,630 You've got to catch him. 655 00:51:18,290 --> 00:51:21,800 This Zorro, he could screw up my plans of being 656 00:51:21,800 --> 00:51:23,720 the biggest man in California. 657 00:51:23,720 --> 00:51:24,530 I know. 658 00:51:24,530 --> 00:51:25,430 I know. 659 00:51:25,430 --> 00:51:27,890 I'm part of those plans too, remember? 660 00:51:27,890 --> 00:51:29,870 So what are you going to do about it? 661 00:51:29,870 --> 00:51:31,820 You and your machos. 662 00:51:31,820 --> 00:51:33,970 That was some show you put on last night. 663 00:51:33,970 --> 00:51:36,290 My men have been searching all night. 664 00:51:36,290 --> 00:51:39,300 By tomorrow morning, they'll be spread throughout the area. 665 00:51:39,300 --> 00:51:40,550 He won't escape this time. 666 00:51:40,550 --> 00:51:41,810 I guarantee it. 667 00:51:41,810 --> 00:51:43,510 Your men, your men. 668 00:51:43,510 --> 00:51:45,680 For all the man they are, they could 669 00:51:45,680 --> 00:51:49,430 compete with Don Diego Vega for Gay Caballero of the Year. 670 00:51:49,430 --> 00:51:53,150 And as for that Señor Itar, I think I would like to have 671 00:51:53,150 --> 00:51:54,950 him meet my niece, Maria. 672 00:51:54,950 --> 00:51:57,140 A match between him and Maria would be 673 00:51:57,140 --> 00:52:01,270 very advantageous to my plans. 674 00:52:01,270 --> 00:52:03,830 Luis, you know I've had my eye on Maria for a long-- 675 00:52:03,830 --> 00:52:05,690 And that's all you're going to have on her! 676 00:52:05,690 --> 00:52:07,710 At least until after her marriage. 677 00:52:07,710 --> 00:52:11,750 And then, of course, Maria is entitled to at least one lover. 678 00:52:11,750 --> 00:52:14,800 Better it be you than some stranger. 679 00:52:14,800 --> 00:52:17,490 The depths to which you'll stoop to be of the richest men 680 00:52:17,490 --> 00:52:20,200 in California is nauseating. 681 00:52:20,200 --> 00:52:21,370 Poor Maria. 682 00:52:21,370 --> 00:52:24,240 Business, Esteban-- big business. 683 00:52:24,240 --> 00:52:28,190 The Vega holdings are amongst the largest in California. 684 00:52:28,190 --> 00:52:31,250 Tonight, we make our first move to acquire them. 685 00:52:31,250 --> 00:52:35,700 [LAUGHS] We are going to have Don Diego to dinner tonight. 686 00:52:35,700 --> 00:52:38,210 Who is he going to eat? 687 00:52:38,210 --> 00:52:40,520 No snide remarks to Diego! 688 00:52:40,520 --> 00:52:42,030 Now get out of here! 689 00:52:42,030 --> 00:52:44,130 You have something to do, no? 690 00:52:44,130 --> 00:52:47,030 [MUSIC PLAYING] 691 00:52:58,890 --> 00:53:01,880 [MUSIC PLAYING] 692 00:53:12,360 --> 00:53:13,860 [BOOTS CLICKING ON FOOT] 693 00:53:24,620 --> 00:53:25,320 [GASPS] 694 00:53:25,320 --> 00:53:26,920 Do not be frightened, my lovely Maria. 695 00:53:29,780 --> 00:53:31,700 I only want to thank you for not blowing the whistle 696 00:53:31,700 --> 00:53:33,260 on me at the church last night. 697 00:53:33,260 --> 00:53:35,180 But who are you? 698 00:53:35,180 --> 00:53:37,430 - I am Zorro. - Zorro? 699 00:53:37,430 --> 00:53:39,440 WOMAN (BEHIND DOOR): Maria, are you ready? 700 00:53:39,440 --> 00:53:40,490 It's time to go down. 701 00:53:49,340 --> 00:53:51,890 I thought I heard voices in here just now. 702 00:53:51,890 --> 00:53:54,500 No. I was just singing. 703 00:53:54,500 --> 00:53:55,340 Well, shall we? 704 00:53:55,340 --> 00:53:58,490 Dinner is waiting. 705 00:53:58,490 --> 00:54:00,480 [TAP DANCING] 706 00:54:00,480 --> 00:54:02,970 [MUSICIAN STRUMMING] 707 00:55:22,150 --> 00:55:24,150 [RHYTHMIC CLAPPING] 708 00:55:37,090 --> 00:55:39,580 [APPLAUSE] - Bravo! 709 00:55:39,580 --> 00:55:40,580 Bravo! 710 00:55:40,580 --> 00:55:42,070 [LAUGHS] 711 00:55:42,070 --> 00:55:43,570 Aren't they fantastic? 712 00:55:47,050 --> 00:55:52,810 [LAUGHS] Doña Bonasario, I have not had such a marvelous 713 00:55:52,810 --> 00:55:54,460 dinner since I left Madrid. 714 00:55:54,460 --> 00:55:58,310 Everything is just exquisite. 715 00:55:58,310 --> 00:56:01,880 Excellency, may I say, your niece is the most 716 00:56:01,880 --> 00:56:03,950 charming young lady I have met? 717 00:56:03,950 --> 00:56:05,660 LUIS: Thank you very much, Don Diego. 718 00:56:05,660 --> 00:56:07,880 You two must get to know each other better. 719 00:56:07,880 --> 00:56:10,430 She, too, has just come from Spain. 720 00:56:10,430 --> 00:56:11,840 She has only been with her aunt and I 721 00:56:11,840 --> 00:56:14,040 for three months in California. 722 00:56:14,040 --> 00:56:17,970 You two probably have mutual acquaintances in Madrid, no? 723 00:56:17,970 --> 00:56:21,100 ESTEBAN: Maria, your perfume, it's lovely. 724 00:56:21,100 --> 00:56:23,330 What is it called? - My perfume? 725 00:56:23,330 --> 00:56:24,030 Why, it's, uh-- 726 00:56:24,030 --> 00:56:25,890 [LAUGHS] 727 00:56:27,750 --> 00:56:28,510 Oh, Esteban. 728 00:56:28,510 --> 00:56:34,450 Really, this beautiful scent is called Amor Rápido. 729 00:56:34,450 --> 00:56:36,030 It's from my [INAUDIBLE]. 730 00:56:36,030 --> 00:56:37,630 I'm glad you like it. 731 00:56:37,630 --> 00:56:39,210 Amor Rápido. 732 00:56:39,210 --> 00:56:40,860 It's obviously well-named. 733 00:56:40,860 --> 00:56:43,440 Diego, you must tell us about your life in Madrid. 734 00:56:43,440 --> 00:56:46,740 Oh, that I were there instead of this god-forsaken outpost. 735 00:56:46,740 --> 00:56:48,060 MARIA: Oh, yes, Diego. 736 00:56:48,060 --> 00:56:53,430 Do tell us about your carefree, fascinating gay life in Madrid. 737 00:56:53,430 --> 00:56:56,630 Actually, I spent most of my time with the other cadets. 738 00:56:56,630 --> 00:56:57,500 That figures. 739 00:57:00,700 --> 00:57:05,500 Studying, or drilling, or learning wargames. 740 00:57:05,500 --> 00:57:08,810 An officer must be a fine horseman and swordsman. 741 00:57:08,810 --> 00:57:10,950 They must also know of other weapons. 742 00:57:10,950 --> 00:57:12,990 Sometimes it is best to use a pistol, 743 00:57:12,990 --> 00:57:17,160 but even an officer should know how to handle a cannon. 744 00:57:17,160 --> 00:57:18,850 How interesting. 745 00:57:18,850 --> 00:57:22,230 I suppose you know how to do everything. 746 00:57:22,230 --> 00:57:23,600 Well, actually, you could say that. 747 00:57:23,600 --> 00:57:25,540 But really, I'm boring you all, I know. 748 00:57:28,070 --> 00:57:30,780 Esteban, you lived in Spain too, didn't you? 749 00:57:30,780 --> 00:57:33,480 Why didn't you tell us why you left such a beautiful country 750 00:57:33,480 --> 00:57:35,560 to come to this sleepy pueblo? 751 00:57:35,560 --> 00:57:39,420 When I was a younger man, I was quite a sportsman. 752 00:57:39,420 --> 00:57:40,950 Although, I had a bad temper. 753 00:57:40,950 --> 00:57:45,710 I had the finest cock in Barcelona. 754 00:57:45,710 --> 00:57:49,810 This cock came from a long line of fighting cocks. 755 00:57:49,810 --> 00:57:54,250 One Saturday, I took him to the arena for a fight. 756 00:57:54,250 --> 00:57:58,300 All the gentleman were there and the stakes were high. 757 00:57:58,300 --> 00:58:02,050 When the time came for my cock to fight, I entered the arena-- 758 00:58:02,050 --> 00:58:03,520 [MUSICIAN STRUMS] 759 00:58:03,520 --> 00:58:06,730 --and presented myself to my cock's opponent. 760 00:58:06,730 --> 00:58:11,140 This gentleman took one look at my magnificent cock 761 00:58:11,140 --> 00:58:13,300 and stated he would not let his champion fight 762 00:58:13,300 --> 00:58:15,190 such a little, scrawny thing. 763 00:58:15,190 --> 00:58:18,550 I could not bear this insult. In a fit of temper, 764 00:58:18,550 --> 00:58:21,750 I challenged him to a duel. 765 00:58:21,750 --> 00:58:26,070 He was from one of the finest families in Barcelona. 766 00:58:26,070 --> 00:58:27,600 That was my mistake. 767 00:58:27,600 --> 00:58:29,990 Oh, a very exciting story, Esteban. 768 00:58:29,990 --> 00:58:31,570 Please, do go on. - Yes. 769 00:58:31,570 --> 00:58:34,740 Please, Esteban. 770 00:58:34,740 --> 00:58:36,870 I ran him through. 771 00:58:36,870 --> 00:58:38,820 As I said, he was from one of the richest 772 00:58:38,820 --> 00:58:41,770 families in Barcelona. 773 00:58:41,770 --> 00:58:44,860 So discretion being the better part of valor, 774 00:58:44,860 --> 00:58:47,830 I decided to split the scene. 775 00:58:47,830 --> 00:58:52,100 That is how I happened to be here in Los Angeles. 776 00:58:52,100 --> 00:58:54,220 LUIS: That is very interesting, Esteban. 777 00:58:54,220 --> 00:58:57,520 Too bad you can't challenge that Zorro to a cock fight, eh? 778 00:58:57,520 --> 00:58:59,740 [LAUGHS] 779 00:58:59,740 --> 00:59:02,430 Who in the world is Zorro? - Oh, he's-- 780 00:59:02,430 --> 00:59:03,690 Yes, my dear? 781 00:59:03,690 --> 00:59:04,840 Oh, I'm sorry, uncle. 782 00:59:04,840 --> 00:59:08,320 I was just trying to explain to Don Diego. 783 00:59:08,320 --> 00:59:09,880 Forgive my question, Excellency. 784 00:59:09,880 --> 00:59:11,320 It's none of my affair. 785 00:59:11,320 --> 00:59:12,570 It is your affair. 786 00:59:12,570 --> 00:59:16,510 It is the affair of every loyal, law-abiding citizen. 787 00:59:16,510 --> 00:59:19,140 This Zorry is a masked bandit. 788 00:59:19,140 --> 00:59:22,440 He's a criminal and a rebel-rouser. 789 00:59:22,440 --> 00:59:25,760 He's dangerous to the authority of my government. 790 00:59:25,760 --> 00:59:29,630 He must be hunted down and brought to justice. 791 00:59:29,630 --> 00:59:31,200 He will, Don Luis. 792 00:59:31,200 --> 00:59:33,060 You have my word. 793 00:59:33,060 --> 00:59:35,610 Doña Bonasario, I can't thank you enough 794 00:59:35,610 --> 00:59:37,290 for your gracious hospitality. 795 00:59:37,290 --> 00:59:40,230 It was our pleasure having you, Don Diego. 796 00:59:40,230 --> 00:59:42,330 Perhaps we'll be seeing more of you soon? 797 00:59:42,330 --> 00:59:43,590 It would be my pleasure. 798 00:59:43,590 --> 00:59:44,910 Perhaps you'd like to accompany me 799 00:59:44,910 --> 00:59:46,470 on my morning ride. 800 00:59:46,470 --> 00:59:47,420 Oh, I'd be delighted. 801 00:59:47,420 --> 00:59:48,910 Would 8:00 be too early? 802 00:59:48,910 --> 00:59:51,990 No hour is too early to enjoy your company, lovely lady. 803 00:59:54,860 --> 00:59:58,510 Excellency, thank you for having me to dinner. 804 00:59:58,510 --> 00:59:59,850 Thank you, Don Diego. 805 00:59:59,850 --> 01:00:01,720 And give my regards to your father. 806 01:00:01,720 --> 01:00:03,130 DIEGO: Gracias. I will. 807 01:00:07,040 --> 01:00:10,530 You do have the most beautiful things, comandante. 808 01:00:10,530 --> 01:00:12,820 Who is your tailor? Good night. 809 01:00:16,860 --> 01:00:19,320 You're all just too beautiful. 810 01:00:19,320 --> 01:00:22,470 Nighty-night. - Come, Maria. 811 01:00:22,470 --> 01:00:23,730 I'll help you prepare for bed. 812 01:00:23,730 --> 01:00:25,680 Well, ladies, what do you think of the son 813 01:00:25,680 --> 01:00:27,250 of the former alcalde? 814 01:00:27,250 --> 01:00:30,990 Oh, I think he's some kind of a freak or something. 815 01:00:30,990 --> 01:00:35,990 I think things are seldom what they seem. 816 01:00:35,990 --> 01:00:38,520 She will marry Diego, Esteban. 817 01:00:41,120 --> 01:00:42,850 But don't you worry. 818 01:00:42,850 --> 01:00:46,730 You'll get part of the action, you and your fighting cock, eh? 819 01:00:46,730 --> 01:00:47,540 [LAUGHS] 820 01:01:05,720 --> 01:01:07,820 Thinking of your husband-to-be? 821 01:01:07,820 --> 01:01:08,860 Oh, yes. 822 01:01:08,860 --> 01:01:10,370 He's wonderful. 823 01:01:10,370 --> 01:01:11,660 Well, at dinner, you didn't display 824 01:01:11,660 --> 01:01:13,830 any great fondness for him. 825 01:01:13,830 --> 01:01:15,980 What are you talking about? 826 01:01:15,980 --> 01:01:20,150 - Why, Don Diego, of course. - Don Diego? 827 01:01:20,150 --> 01:01:22,130 [LAUGHS] That she-man? 828 01:01:22,130 --> 01:01:23,520 Oh, Aunt Helena. 829 01:01:23,520 --> 01:01:26,240 Really, you're so much fun. 830 01:01:26,240 --> 01:01:29,240 Maria, I do not jest. 831 01:01:29,240 --> 01:01:30,540 I don't understand. 832 01:01:30,540 --> 01:01:31,940 What do you mean? 833 01:01:31,940 --> 01:01:34,700 Your uncle and I have already discussed it. 834 01:01:34,700 --> 01:01:39,720 He has decided you will soon marry Don Diego. 835 01:01:39,720 --> 01:01:41,290 Oh no. No. 836 01:01:41,290 --> 01:01:42,030 I can't. 837 01:01:42,030 --> 01:01:43,470 I'm in love with-- 838 01:01:43,470 --> 01:01:45,880 [MUSIC PLAYING] 839 01:01:45,880 --> 01:01:49,000 With whom, Maria? 840 01:01:49,000 --> 01:01:51,520 There, there, dear niece. 841 01:01:51,520 --> 01:01:53,490 Everything will work out in time. 842 01:01:53,490 --> 01:01:55,490 You will learn to love him. 843 01:01:55,490 --> 01:01:58,270 I'll never live that long. 844 01:01:58,270 --> 01:01:59,770 Come. 845 01:01:59,770 --> 01:02:01,230 I'll help you get undressed. 846 01:02:03,860 --> 01:02:06,870 MARIA: But why does Uncle Luis want me to marry that fag? 847 01:02:06,870 --> 01:02:09,930 HELENA: Because his father has great landholdings, 848 01:02:09,930 --> 01:02:14,760 which will one day belong to Diego and you. 849 01:02:14,760 --> 01:02:18,550 MARIA: Aunt Helena, do you love Uncle Luis? 850 01:02:18,550 --> 01:02:19,610 HELENA: Of course. 851 01:02:19,610 --> 01:02:22,540 MARIA: Oh, it must be so wonderful to love and be 852 01:02:22,540 --> 01:02:25,610 loved by a man-- a real man. 853 01:02:25,610 --> 01:02:29,950 If I marry Diego, I will never know. 854 01:02:29,950 --> 01:02:31,090 HELENA: Yes. 855 01:02:31,090 --> 01:02:33,250 To be loved physically is the greatest 856 01:02:33,250 --> 01:02:36,040 ecstasy one can experience. 857 01:02:36,040 --> 01:02:39,060 You are entitled to that. 858 01:02:39,060 --> 01:02:41,400 Aunt Helena, I-- 859 01:02:41,400 --> 01:02:43,600 I don't understand. 860 01:02:43,600 --> 01:02:45,460 HELENA: You will, my dear. 861 01:02:45,460 --> 01:02:47,650 I will make you understand many things. 862 01:04:40,160 --> 01:04:43,640 [MUSIC PLAYING] 863 01:05:51,520 --> 01:05:54,100 Aunt Helena, is this all right? 864 01:05:54,100 --> 01:05:55,240 Try it. 865 01:05:55,240 --> 01:05:56,650 You're like it. 866 01:09:46,220 --> 01:09:51,000 Auntie, will it always be like with my husband? 867 01:09:51,000 --> 01:09:53,430 With him, it may be a little different. 868 01:09:53,430 --> 01:09:56,610 But you're ever-loving auntie will never be too far away. 869 01:10:02,950 --> 01:10:05,390 [BIRDS SINGING] 870 01:10:06,860 --> 01:10:08,500 It's beautiful. 871 01:10:08,500 --> 01:10:10,280 Let's stop over there. DIEGO: All right. 872 01:10:57,870 --> 01:11:00,710 California can be beautiful, but I won't miss it. 873 01:11:00,710 --> 01:11:01,830 Oh? 874 01:11:01,830 --> 01:11:03,990 Are you thinking of going back to Spain? 875 01:11:03,990 --> 01:11:06,090 I've longed to return for some time. 876 01:11:06,090 --> 01:11:08,370 Don Luis has also spoken of a journey, 877 01:11:08,370 --> 01:11:11,220 but I don't think he wants to give up what he has here. 878 01:11:11,220 --> 01:11:12,900 That's a shame, señora. 879 01:11:12,900 --> 01:11:14,370 Madrid is the center of everything, 880 01:11:14,370 --> 01:11:16,440 and it gets bigger and better every day. 881 01:11:16,440 --> 01:11:19,500 You spend so much time at the Academy with men. 882 01:11:19,500 --> 01:11:21,460 You never knew any girls? 883 01:11:21,460 --> 01:11:23,070 Well, of course. 884 01:11:23,070 --> 01:11:24,600 What do you think I am? 885 01:11:24,600 --> 01:11:27,630 I think you are something other than what you pretend 886 01:11:27,630 --> 01:11:29,870 to be, and I might prove it. 887 01:11:29,870 --> 01:11:30,960 Oh? 888 01:11:30,960 --> 01:11:32,400 What do you have in mind? 889 01:11:32,400 --> 01:11:33,750 Help me slip out of my skirt. 890 01:11:33,750 --> 01:11:36,620 [MUSIC PLAYING] 891 01:11:40,440 --> 01:11:41,950 Gracias, Don Diego. 892 01:11:41,950 --> 01:11:43,240 Why don't you do the same? 893 01:11:43,240 --> 01:11:46,570 You want those pretty clothes to fade in the sun? 894 01:11:46,570 --> 01:11:48,460 Let me help you. 895 01:11:48,460 --> 01:11:50,860 A wise old man in Madrid once told me something. 896 01:11:50,860 --> 01:11:52,060 I guess he was right. 897 01:11:52,060 --> 01:11:53,350 What was that? 898 01:11:53,350 --> 01:11:55,330 Strip away all the linen and lace, 899 01:11:55,330 --> 01:11:57,520 and the only difference between a queen and a whore 900 01:11:57,520 --> 01:11:59,130 is time and place. 901 01:11:59,130 --> 01:12:01,300 A wise old gypsy woman in Barcelona once 902 01:12:01,300 --> 01:12:02,470 told me something. 903 01:12:02,470 --> 01:12:04,240 I think she was right also. 904 01:12:04,240 --> 01:12:05,420 Oh? 905 01:12:05,420 --> 01:12:06,540 What was that? 906 01:12:06,540 --> 01:12:09,220 The longer you pretend, the harder it gets. 907 01:12:09,220 --> 01:12:13,540 [LAUGHS] Now that I've been found out, 908 01:12:13,540 --> 01:12:16,120 I guess I'd better confess my little hoax. 909 01:12:16,120 --> 01:12:18,170 HELENA: It takes a big man to do that. 910 01:14:41,410 --> 01:14:44,390 [MUSIC INTENSIFIES] 911 01:15:34,090 --> 01:15:37,380 Things are seldom what they seem-- 912 01:15:37,380 --> 01:15:40,380 skim milk masquerades as cream. 913 01:15:40,380 --> 01:15:42,210 I trust you've had your fill, my dear. 914 01:16:15,430 --> 01:16:18,400 [MUSIC PLAYING] 915 01:16:36,040 --> 01:16:36,740 Out, dog. 916 01:16:56,470 --> 01:16:57,950 Sometime tonight, sergeant. 917 01:16:57,950 --> 01:16:58,940 I'll take that. 918 01:16:58,940 --> 01:17:00,430 Sí, comandante. 919 01:17:00,430 --> 01:17:02,410 - I'll take that, comandante. - Zorro! 920 01:17:34,470 --> 01:17:36,390 Curses! Foiled again. 921 01:17:36,390 --> 01:17:37,620 Men! 922 01:17:37,620 --> 01:17:39,840 Men, Zorro just robbed the tax money. 923 01:17:39,840 --> 01:17:41,700 Search the pueblo. Search [INAUDIBLE]. 924 01:17:41,700 --> 01:17:43,160 [TRUMPET SOUNDING] 925 01:17:43,160 --> 01:17:44,620 Search [INAUDIBLE] cantina. 926 01:17:44,620 --> 01:17:46,080 Search [INAUDIBLE]. 927 01:17:46,080 --> 01:17:47,060 Find Zorro! 928 01:17:50,950 --> 01:17:52,900 [CLOGGED TRUMPET BLOWING] 929 01:18:26,080 --> 01:18:28,060 [SWISH] 930 01:18:28,060 --> 01:18:30,050 [SCREAMS] 931 01:18:32,530 --> 01:18:34,860 - Silencio, idiot. - What happened? 932 01:18:34,860 --> 01:18:37,240 - Zorro. - How you do know it's Zorro? 933 01:18:37,240 --> 01:18:39,640 Look at my behind. 934 01:18:39,640 --> 01:18:41,140 You know something? 935 01:18:41,140 --> 01:18:44,140 This Zorro is getting to be a pain in the ass. 936 01:18:44,140 --> 01:18:45,620 [XYLOPHONE SOUND] 937 01:18:45,620 --> 01:18:48,080 [INAUDIBLE] you idiots. 938 01:18:48,080 --> 01:18:50,540 Behind the tower-- the tower! 939 01:18:50,540 --> 01:18:53,490 [MUSIC PLAYING] 940 01:18:53,490 --> 01:18:54,970 Chico, on the edge. 941 01:18:54,970 --> 01:18:58,410 On the edge! 942 01:18:58,410 --> 01:18:59,890 [BLADES CLASHING] 943 01:19:05,300 --> 01:19:07,270 [THUD] 944 01:19:07,270 --> 01:19:09,380 Not that far on the edge. 945 01:19:13,260 --> 01:19:14,850 Zorro's just robbed the tax money. 946 01:19:14,850 --> 01:19:16,800 The tax money? 947 01:19:16,800 --> 01:19:17,720 Jose! 948 01:19:17,720 --> 01:19:19,570 Jose, he's over there! Shoot! 949 01:19:19,570 --> 01:19:21,130 Shoot! No, Jose! 950 01:19:21,130 --> 01:19:22,800 [INAUDIBLE] Raul. No! 951 01:19:22,800 --> 01:19:24,290 [GUNSHOT] 952 01:19:43,710 --> 01:19:45,210 [WHISTLES] 953 01:19:46,700 --> 01:19:48,190 [CLACK] 954 01:19:48,190 --> 01:19:49,690 [THUD] 955 01:19:52,180 --> 01:19:54,670 [MUSIC PLAYING] 956 01:20:20,260 --> 01:20:21,750 [SCABBARDS RATTLE] 957 01:20:21,750 --> 01:20:23,250 [BLADES CLASH] 958 01:20:24,750 --> 01:20:26,240 [GROANS] 959 01:20:28,240 --> 01:20:29,740 [THUD] 960 01:20:48,700 --> 01:20:51,190 [MUSIC SLOWS] 961 01:20:53,190 --> 01:20:55,680 [MUSIC INTENSIFIES] 962 01:21:19,190 --> 01:21:21,670 [MUSIC SLOWS] 963 01:21:33,660 --> 01:21:36,130 [MUSIC INTENSIFIES] 964 01:21:36,130 --> 01:21:38,100 [BLADES CLASH] 965 01:21:47,960 --> 01:21:48,950 Kill Zorro! 966 01:21:53,380 --> 01:21:56,340 Get him! 967 01:21:56,340 --> 01:21:57,830 The staircase! 968 01:22:02,090 --> 01:22:03,110 [FRUSTRATED GRUNT] 969 01:22:03,110 --> 01:22:04,950 - Did you see him? - See him? 970 01:22:04,950 --> 01:22:07,990 The cowardly swine, he attacked one of my best men 971 01:22:07,990 --> 01:22:08,780 from the rear. 972 01:22:08,780 --> 01:22:09,730 Did he hurt him? 973 01:22:09,730 --> 01:22:12,610 [INAUDIBLE] 974 01:22:12,610 --> 01:22:13,570 [THUD] 975 01:22:15,010 --> 01:22:16,370 Adiós, comandante. 976 01:22:25,970 --> 01:22:26,950 Z? 977 01:22:26,950 --> 01:22:29,970 Yes, it's a Z. I'd call you an imbecile, 978 01:22:29,970 --> 01:22:32,050 but that would be a promotion. 979 01:22:32,050 --> 01:22:34,470 [MARCHING DRUM BEAT] 980 01:22:40,760 --> 01:22:42,700 [ORGAN MUSIC PLAYING] 981 01:22:44,650 --> 01:22:45,940 Good evening, padre. 982 01:22:45,940 --> 01:22:47,680 Zorro. 983 01:22:47,680 --> 01:22:54,410 [LAUGHS] Padre, don't you recognize your old student? 984 01:22:54,410 --> 01:22:56,470 Diego. 985 01:22:56,470 --> 01:22:58,280 I don't understand. You? 986 01:22:58,280 --> 01:23:00,370 Zorro? This cannot be. 987 01:23:00,370 --> 01:23:02,010 I thought you were, uh-- 988 01:23:02,010 --> 01:23:05,640 [LAUGHS] A fagala? 989 01:23:05,640 --> 01:23:06,510 No, padre. 990 01:23:06,510 --> 01:23:09,250 It was only part of my disguise. 991 01:23:09,250 --> 01:23:10,950 Here's part of the tax money. 992 01:23:10,950 --> 01:23:14,630 You're to return to the peons who paid it this evening. 993 01:23:14,630 --> 01:23:15,550 This is wonderful. 994 01:23:15,550 --> 01:23:17,980 The poor people will bless you. 995 01:23:17,980 --> 01:23:21,490 Needless to say, don't crack to anyone about my identity. 996 01:23:21,490 --> 01:23:23,500 Gay Diego will stay gay Diego. 997 01:23:23,500 --> 01:23:27,580 And Zorro will rid this town of its rats. 998 01:23:27,580 --> 01:23:29,080 I understand. 999 01:23:29,080 --> 01:23:31,090 What will you do next? 1000 01:23:31,090 --> 01:23:32,980 Next, padre, I am getting laid. 1001 01:23:32,980 --> 01:23:34,730 [GASPS] 1002 01:23:34,730 --> 01:23:39,790 [LAUGHS] Forgive me, padre, but Zorro tells it like it is. 1003 01:23:39,790 --> 01:23:41,680 And now, if you'll excuse me. 1004 01:23:41,680 --> 01:23:44,210 [MUSIC PLAYING] 1005 01:23:46,980 --> 01:23:50,330 Maybe some day, they will change these frustrating rules. 1006 01:24:07,160 --> 01:24:10,130 [MUSIC PLAYING] 1007 01:24:27,360 --> 01:24:31,110 67, 68, 69-- 1008 01:24:31,110 --> 01:24:33,700 [BOOTS HITTING FLOOR] 1009 01:24:33,700 --> 01:24:35,930 Zorro, what are you doing here? 1010 01:24:35,930 --> 01:24:36,710 Shh. 1011 01:24:36,710 --> 01:24:38,030 There's no cause for alarm. 1012 01:24:38,030 --> 01:24:39,930 But what are you doing here? 1013 01:24:39,930 --> 01:24:41,940 Oh, you'll surely be caught. 1014 01:24:41,940 --> 01:24:43,790 I've come to see you. 1015 01:24:43,790 --> 01:24:47,870 And don't worry about me being caught. 1016 01:24:47,870 --> 01:24:55,490 No one-- [LAUGHS] --not even Luis or Esteban would ever 1017 01:24:55,490 --> 01:24:57,810 think of looking for me here. 1018 01:24:57,810 --> 01:25:00,410 But what do you want of me? 1019 01:25:00,410 --> 01:25:03,840 I told you, I've come to see you. 1020 01:25:07,360 --> 01:25:11,430 So show me, and I'll show you. 1021 01:25:11,430 --> 01:25:14,450 I-- I don't understand. 1022 01:25:14,450 --> 01:25:15,740 You will, Maria, my love. 1023 01:25:15,740 --> 01:25:17,880 [MUSIC PLAYING] You will. 1024 01:25:26,430 --> 01:25:28,830 Oh, Zorro, you shouldn't be doing this. 1025 01:25:28,830 --> 01:25:30,930 Do want me to stop? 1026 01:25:30,930 --> 01:25:31,630 Oh, no. 1027 01:25:31,630 --> 01:25:32,470 Not yet. 1028 01:25:45,820 --> 01:25:48,000 Does my little dove like it? 1029 01:25:48,000 --> 01:25:49,530 It's so-- so muscular. 1030 01:25:52,060 --> 01:25:53,230 And that isn't all. 1031 01:25:57,690 --> 01:26:00,670 [MUSIC PLAYING] 1032 01:26:19,570 --> 01:26:20,840 I've shown you. 1033 01:26:20,840 --> 01:26:22,780 Now you must show me. 1034 01:26:22,780 --> 01:26:24,870 But of course, my darling. Of course. 1035 01:27:10,690 --> 01:27:12,680 [HARD NOTES PLAYING] 1036 01:27:19,650 --> 01:27:22,640 But you have not shown me your face. 1037 01:27:22,640 --> 01:27:24,780 Why do you still wear that mask and those 1038 01:27:24,780 --> 01:27:26,480 doofus stockings and garters? 1039 01:27:30,420 --> 01:27:31,420 [SHARP CORD STRUCK] 1040 01:27:31,420 --> 01:27:33,450 A man always wears a mask, stockings, 1041 01:27:33,450 --> 01:27:36,110 and garters in these movies. 1042 01:27:36,110 --> 01:27:37,580 [SHARP CORD STRUCK] 1043 01:27:42,460 --> 01:27:44,530 Who are you, Zorro? 1044 01:27:44,530 --> 01:27:48,090 The man with whom you will spend the rest of your life. 1045 01:27:48,090 --> 01:27:49,590 I love you. 1046 01:27:49,590 --> 01:27:53,080 [MUSIC PLAYING] 1047 01:33:30,930 --> 01:33:35,240 You will come again, won't you, Zorro? 1048 01:33:35,240 --> 01:33:38,490 Oh, many times, my dear-- 1049 01:33:38,490 --> 01:33:40,930 many times. 1050 01:33:40,930 --> 01:33:43,860 [MUSIC PLAYING] 1051 01:33:54,620 --> 01:33:56,890 But I still haven't seen your face. 1052 01:33:56,890 --> 01:33:59,420 You aren't meant to, my Darling-- 1053 01:33:59,420 --> 01:34:00,300 yet. 1054 01:34:00,300 --> 01:34:02,060 I fear for your life. 1055 01:34:02,060 --> 01:34:04,820 When will I see you again, my love? 1056 01:34:04,820 --> 01:34:05,760 Soon. 1057 01:34:05,760 --> 01:34:08,790 And the next time, you'll see all of me. 1058 01:34:08,790 --> 01:34:12,200 But now, I must go. 1059 01:34:12,200 --> 01:34:22,730 Tomorrow, I right many wrongs while, at the same time, 1060 01:34:22,730 --> 01:34:24,740 ensuring our future happiness. 1061 01:34:44,840 --> 01:34:46,320 Zorro! 1062 01:34:46,320 --> 01:34:48,600 Capitan Velasquez, we meet again. 1063 01:34:48,600 --> 01:34:50,220 What are you doing here? 1064 01:34:50,220 --> 01:34:52,330 Not that it's any of your business, 1065 01:34:52,330 --> 01:34:54,790 but I was merely visiting my fiance, 1066 01:34:54,790 --> 01:34:57,810 the beautiful and no-longer-virginal Maria, 1067 01:34:57,810 --> 01:34:58,950 schmuck. 1068 01:34:58,950 --> 01:35:01,030 No longer virginal? Defend yourself! 1069 01:35:04,760 --> 01:35:06,720 [BLADES CLASH] 1070 01:35:21,460 --> 01:35:23,550 You are good, capitan. 1071 01:35:23,550 --> 01:35:26,480 I will give you a rematch tomorrow at high noon, 1072 01:35:26,480 --> 01:35:29,450 in the alcalde's office. 1073 01:35:29,450 --> 01:35:30,880 You bet your ass you will. 1074 01:35:37,610 --> 01:35:39,060 [SWISH] 1075 01:35:39,060 --> 01:35:42,630 You don't really think he'll come, do you, Esteban? 1076 01:35:42,630 --> 01:35:43,690 He's an egomaniac. 1077 01:35:43,690 --> 01:35:44,920 [SWISH] 1078 01:35:44,920 --> 01:35:45,960 He'll show. 1079 01:35:45,960 --> 01:35:49,400 With all of our soldiers outside, he'd be insane. 1080 01:35:49,400 --> 01:35:51,840 I've given orders to the men to let him pass. 1081 01:35:51,840 --> 01:35:52,970 He's mine. 1082 01:35:52,970 --> 01:35:53,700 Pah. 1083 01:35:53,700 --> 01:35:55,850 Talk about egomaniacs. 1084 01:35:55,850 --> 01:35:57,050 GUARD (OUTSIDE DOOR): No, no, señor. 1085 01:35:57,050 --> 01:35:58,100 You cannot go in. 1086 01:35:58,100 --> 01:35:59,400 DIEGO (OUTSIDE DOOR): But I must go in. 1087 01:35:59,400 --> 01:36:02,280 I've got information for them about this Zorro person. 1088 01:36:02,280 --> 01:36:04,480 Let Don Diego pass, Seymour. 1089 01:36:08,110 --> 01:36:08,860 See? 1090 01:36:08,860 --> 01:36:13,420 I told you they'd see me, you silly, succulents savage, you. 1091 01:36:13,420 --> 01:36:16,810 Well, while you two lollygag about this dreadful office, 1092 01:36:16,810 --> 01:36:19,930 that Zorro person is lurking about in my father's hacienda. 1093 01:36:24,640 --> 01:36:25,590 Latio! 1094 01:36:25,590 --> 01:36:28,910 Sí-- [SIGHS] sí, comandante? 1095 01:36:28,910 --> 01:36:30,780 ESTEBAN: Zorro's at the Vega hacienda. 1096 01:36:30,780 --> 01:36:33,460 Get your men and get him this time. 1097 01:36:33,460 --> 01:36:35,170 Yes, comandante. 1098 01:36:35,170 --> 01:36:38,460 Men, Zorro's at the Vega hacienda. 1099 01:36:38,460 --> 01:36:39,160 Get him. 1100 01:36:39,160 --> 01:36:42,340 I know I can depend on you. Go! 1101 01:36:42,340 --> 01:36:43,310 All of you! 1102 01:36:43,310 --> 01:36:46,730 [MUSIC PLAYING] 1103 01:37:00,390 --> 01:37:01,370 [FART SOUND] 1104 01:37:02,340 --> 01:37:05,980 I'm afraid Zorro is a coward. 1105 01:37:05,980 --> 01:37:09,540 He wouldn't dare face me alone again. 1106 01:37:09,540 --> 01:37:11,910 He's too smart, you fool. 1107 01:37:11,910 --> 01:37:13,710 He wouldn't dare come in here with all 1108 01:37:13,710 --> 01:37:15,240 these soldiers outside. 1109 01:37:15,240 --> 01:37:17,270 But I've given orders to let him pass. 1110 01:37:17,270 --> 01:37:19,800 He doesn't know that, you moron. 1111 01:37:19,800 --> 01:37:22,240 Zorro is much too crafty for that. 1112 01:37:22,240 --> 01:37:25,650 He has tricked you into sending the soldiers away. 1113 01:37:25,650 --> 01:37:29,010 He has kept his appointment. 1114 01:37:29,010 --> 01:37:30,720 You mean-- 1115 01:37:30,720 --> 01:37:33,640 Well, Don Diego-- 1116 01:37:33,640 --> 01:37:40,630 alias, Zorro-- what can we do for you? 1117 01:37:40,630 --> 01:37:45,630 You are a very astute man, Don Luis. 1118 01:37:49,340 --> 01:37:54,240 And being a wise man, I know you will do the wise thing. 1119 01:37:54,240 --> 01:37:54,940 Which is? 1120 01:37:57,810 --> 01:38:00,300 Resign your position, which you are not fit to hold. 1121 01:38:04,200 --> 01:38:06,140 [COINS CLATTER] 1122 01:38:10,040 --> 01:38:14,060 Return all of the money, which you have stolen from the peons 1123 01:38:14,060 --> 01:38:16,140 and go back to Spain with your lovely wife. 1124 01:38:16,140 --> 01:38:17,680 [INAUDIBLE] my niece, Maria. 1125 01:38:17,680 --> 01:38:18,490 Yes. 1126 01:38:18,490 --> 01:38:19,800 What about Maria? 1127 01:38:19,800 --> 01:38:21,310 Oh, Maria. 1128 01:38:21,310 --> 01:38:23,860 She stays in Los Angeles. 1129 01:38:23,860 --> 01:38:25,030 I am going to marry her. 1130 01:38:25,030 --> 01:38:26,350 You cheeky bastard. 1131 01:38:26,350 --> 01:38:27,250 [INAUDIBLE] Esteban. 1132 01:38:27,250 --> 01:38:28,890 I haven't finished. 1133 01:38:28,890 --> 01:38:31,030 You're finished as of right now. 1134 01:38:31,030 --> 01:38:33,470 [MUSIC PLAYING] 1135 01:38:57,390 --> 01:38:58,860 [SWISH] 1136 01:39:12,750 --> 01:39:14,750 [BLADES CLASH] 1137 01:39:20,740 --> 01:39:21,740 [SWISH] 1138 01:39:34,210 --> 01:39:35,710 [SWISH] 1139 01:39:47,180 --> 01:39:48,680 [BANG] 1140 01:40:01,660 --> 01:40:03,150 [GROANS] 1141 01:40:06,700 --> 01:40:08,810 My sword arm. 1142 01:40:08,810 --> 01:40:11,660 I'll never fight again. 1143 01:40:11,660 --> 01:40:13,970 Good for you, Esteban. 1144 01:40:13,970 --> 01:40:17,210 One should make love, not war. 1145 01:40:17,210 --> 01:40:18,950 And now, gentlemen, we will conclude 1146 01:40:18,950 --> 01:40:21,950 the arrangements to which you will agree, I am sure. 1147 01:40:21,950 --> 01:40:23,330 Yes, yes. 1148 01:40:23,330 --> 01:40:25,270 Anything you say. 1149 01:40:25,270 --> 01:40:28,370 Uncle, Esteban, Don Diego. 1150 01:40:28,370 --> 01:40:30,320 What does this mean? 1151 01:40:30,320 --> 01:40:34,920 It means, my dear, that Don Diego is really Zorro. 1152 01:40:34,920 --> 01:40:36,800 Don Diego is Zorro? 1153 01:40:36,800 --> 01:40:39,190 Why, I don't believed that. 1154 01:40:39,190 --> 01:40:41,290 Zorro is a man and Don Diego is only-- 1155 01:40:41,290 --> 01:40:42,290 Yes, my little dove? 1156 01:40:42,290 --> 01:40:44,160 I'm what? 1157 01:40:44,160 --> 01:40:46,310 I just don't believe it. 1158 01:40:46,310 --> 01:40:48,750 Perhaps, when we have concluded our arrangements 1159 01:40:48,750 --> 01:40:52,320 here, you'll let me prove it. 1160 01:40:52,320 --> 01:40:53,710 Prove it? 1161 01:40:53,710 --> 01:40:55,020 But how? 1162 01:40:55,020 --> 01:40:55,970 Zorro knows. 1163 01:40:55,970 --> 01:40:57,060 [MUSIC PLAYING] 1164 01:40:57,060 --> 01:40:58,620 LUIS: You have won, Zorro. 1165 01:40:58,620 --> 01:41:01,590 Helena and I shall leave for Spain tomorrow. 1166 01:41:01,590 --> 01:41:03,420 What about me? 1167 01:41:03,420 --> 01:41:04,270 Too bad, kid. 1168 01:41:04,270 --> 01:41:06,090 That's the way the enchilada crumbles. 1169 01:41:06,090 --> 01:41:07,580 I can't believe it. 1170 01:41:13,490 --> 01:41:15,950 [CHEERING AND GUNFIRE] 1171 01:41:22,840 --> 01:41:24,160 And so the wrongs have been righted. 1172 01:41:24,160 --> 01:41:26,690 Luis Bonasario has sailed back to Spain. 1173 01:41:26,690 --> 01:41:29,360 And Esteban Velasquez is managing a cockfighting 1174 01:41:29,360 --> 01:41:30,980 arena in Tijuana. 1175 01:41:30,980 --> 01:41:33,050 And I've been restored to my rightful place 1176 01:41:33,050 --> 01:41:35,270 as alcalde of Los Angeles. 1177 01:41:35,270 --> 01:41:37,270 The governor has been so notified and approves. 1178 01:41:37,270 --> 01:41:38,940 [APPLAUSE] 1179 01:41:40,330 --> 01:41:45,480 And I and all my men have been elected the new police force. 1180 01:41:45,480 --> 01:41:51,890 I, Felipio Latio, am Sergeant in charge of the vice squad. 1181 01:41:51,890 --> 01:41:56,660 Oh, Felipio, I knew you'd get an honest job some day. 1182 01:41:56,660 --> 01:42:02,180 All this was done by my son Diego, also known as Zorro. 1183 01:42:02,180 --> 01:42:03,720 Let's bring him on with a big hand. 1184 01:42:03,720 --> 01:42:04,690 Here he is. 1185 01:42:04,690 --> 01:42:06,690 [CHEERING AND APPLAUSE] 1186 01:42:09,680 --> 01:42:12,670 [MUSIC PLAYING] 1187 01:42:38,120 --> 01:42:41,120 [MUSIC PLAYING] 1188 01:42:46,110 --> 01:42:49,100 [MUSIC PLAYING] 1189 01:42:49,100 --> 01:42:50,100 [THUD] 1190 01:42:53,090 --> 01:42:54,620 See what the note is. 1191 01:42:54,620 --> 01:42:55,410 You can read. 1192 01:42:55,410 --> 01:42:57,330 What does it say? 1193 01:42:57,330 --> 01:43:02,220 (READING) Know, you, that Luis Bonasario is a thief, 1194 01:43:02,220 --> 01:43:06,490 and a tyrant, and cannot long escape my justice. 1195 01:43:06,490 --> 01:43:08,830 Signed, Zorro. - Zorro? 1196 01:43:08,830 --> 01:43:10,770 Who the fuck is Zorro? 1197 01:43:10,770 --> 01:43:13,330 NARRATOR: In times of tyranny always 1198 01:43:13,330 --> 01:43:15,260 comes one to right the wrongs-- 1199 01:43:15,260 --> 01:43:16,090 --you thieving bastard. 1200 01:43:16,090 --> 01:43:18,090 NARRATOR: --and wrong the unrighteous. 1201 01:43:18,090 --> 01:43:19,680 Such a one was Zorro. 1202 01:43:19,680 --> 01:43:22,500 [MUSIC PLAYING] 1203 01:43:22,500 --> 01:43:28,090 It's all new, all nude, lewd and lascivious Zorro. 1204 01:43:28,090 --> 01:43:30,250 It's Entertainment Ventures' masterwork 1205 01:43:30,250 --> 01:43:34,570 of adult exposition, "The Erotic Adventures of Zorro." 1206 01:43:34,570 --> 01:43:36,000 [BLADE SWISHING] 1207 01:43:39,320 --> 01:43:40,270 [THUMP] 1208 01:43:40,270 --> 01:43:42,450 No kiddie matinee Zorro, this. 1209 01:43:42,450 --> 01:43:44,840 Here is a Zorro with balls. 1210 01:43:44,840 --> 01:43:46,800 What will you do next? 1211 01:43:46,800 --> 01:43:49,350 Next, I am getting laid. 1212 01:43:49,350 --> 01:43:50,680 [GASPS] 1213 01:43:50,680 --> 01:43:53,780 [LAUGHS] Forgive me, padre. 1214 01:43:53,780 --> 01:43:56,600 But Zorro tells it like it is. 1215 01:43:56,600 --> 01:43:58,760 NARRATOR: Brandishing his long, quick rapier, 1216 01:43:58,760 --> 01:44:01,910 he wrought carnage and rapture. 1217 01:44:01,910 --> 01:44:06,920 Those who dared come up against him got stuck. 1218 01:44:06,920 --> 01:44:09,620 It all happened in a little Spanish town 1219 01:44:09,620 --> 01:44:11,780 called Los Angeles. 1220 01:44:11,780 --> 01:44:14,120 All right, you people. 1221 01:44:14,120 --> 01:44:15,610 It's April 15. 1222 01:44:15,610 --> 01:44:17,460 You all know what that means. 1223 01:44:17,460 --> 01:44:18,950 It's tax time. 1224 01:44:18,950 --> 01:44:21,110 [GROANING] 1225 01:44:21,110 --> 01:44:23,020 LUIS: You want good government? 1226 01:44:23,020 --> 01:44:24,680 You got to pay for it! 1227 01:44:24,680 --> 01:44:27,810 NARRATOR: The poor peasants were being taxed up their assets. 1228 01:44:27,810 --> 01:44:28,530 [WHIP CRACKS] 1229 01:44:28,530 --> 01:44:31,390 Those who couldn't pay had to work it off-- 1230 01:44:31,390 --> 01:44:32,360 hard. 1231 01:44:32,360 --> 01:44:34,560 LUIS: Since your father cannot pay his taxes, 1232 01:44:34,560 --> 01:44:36,610 you girls must pay. 1233 01:44:36,610 --> 01:44:40,360 However, we will let you work it off. 1234 01:44:40,360 --> 01:44:44,320 Sergeant Latio, take charge of these two tasty wenches 1235 01:44:44,320 --> 01:44:50,410 and collect 250 pesos, plus a final 50 pesos 1236 01:44:50,410 --> 01:44:52,830 for disturbing the peace. 1237 01:44:52,830 --> 01:44:54,570 300 pesos? 1238 01:44:54,570 --> 01:44:57,760 They'll be 45 years old by the time they pay it. 1239 01:44:57,760 --> 01:45:00,520 NARRATOR: The time had come for someone to take things in hand. 1240 01:45:00,520 --> 01:45:01,480 [SLAP] 1241 01:45:01,480 --> 01:45:02,430 [YELP] 1242 01:45:03,840 --> 01:45:05,570 Glad to see you have everything in hand, sergeant. 1243 01:45:05,570 --> 01:45:06,520 [CLEARS THROAT] 1244 01:45:08,190 --> 01:45:10,940 Wait until she finds out his saber is bent. 1245 01:45:10,940 --> 01:45:12,730 NARRATOR: That someone was Zorro-- 1246 01:45:12,730 --> 01:45:15,480 [MUSIC PLAYING] 1247 01:45:15,480 --> 01:45:17,320 [RAPIER CLATTERS] 1248 01:45:17,320 --> 01:45:20,520 --fencing and [INAUDIBLE] his way right up your heart. 1249 01:45:27,810 --> 01:45:29,610 I've shown you. 1250 01:45:29,610 --> 01:45:31,240 Now you must show me. 1251 01:45:31,240 --> 01:45:32,820 But of course, my darling. 1252 01:45:32,820 --> 01:45:33,960 Of course. 1253 01:45:33,960 --> 01:45:37,860 NARRATOR: By day, he masqueraded as a señor eater. 1254 01:45:37,860 --> 01:45:40,980 By night, he straightened out and went down 1255 01:45:40,980 --> 01:45:43,710 the line with Maria climbed-- 1256 01:45:43,710 --> 01:45:45,710 a regular Spanish Batman. 1257 01:45:45,710 --> 01:45:48,200 [MUSIC PLAYING] 1258 01:45:58,660 --> 01:46:01,590 But you have not shown me your face. 1259 01:46:01,590 --> 01:46:04,760 Why do you still wear that mask and those stupid stockings 1260 01:46:04,760 --> 01:46:06,050 and garters. 1261 01:46:06,050 --> 01:46:07,050 I'll take that. 1262 01:46:07,050 --> 01:46:08,480 Sí, comandante. 1263 01:46:08,480 --> 01:46:10,390 - I'll take that, comandante. - Zorro! 1264 01:46:13,040 --> 01:46:15,650 Men! Zorro just robbed the tax money. 1265 01:46:15,650 --> 01:46:16,910 Search the pueblo. 1266 01:46:16,910 --> 01:46:17,900 Search the church. 1267 01:46:17,900 --> 01:46:19,870 Search [INAUDIBLE] cantina. 1268 01:46:19,870 --> 01:46:21,350 Search [INAUDIBLE]. 1269 01:46:21,350 --> 01:46:23,320 Find Zorro! 1270 01:46:23,320 --> 01:46:24,310 [CLACK] 1271 01:46:26,280 --> 01:46:28,750 [MUSIC PLAYING] 1272 01:46:31,210 --> 01:46:32,650 You cheeky bastard. 1273 01:46:32,650 --> 01:46:33,490 [INAUDIBLE] Esteban. 1274 01:46:33,490 --> 01:46:35,110 I haven't finished. 1275 01:46:35,110 --> 01:46:37,640 You're finished as of right now. 1276 01:46:37,640 --> 01:46:39,380 NARRATOR: The intrepid team that brought 1277 01:46:39,380 --> 01:46:43,740 you Traitor Horny now brings you a fantastic motion picture-- 1278 01:46:43,740 --> 01:46:46,170 [GLASS SHATTERS] --with something for everyone-- 1279 01:46:46,170 --> 01:46:46,870 killing-- 1280 01:46:49,770 --> 01:46:51,700 [THUD] 1281 01:46:51,700 --> 01:46:55,610 --rape, spectacle, comedy-- 1282 01:46:55,610 --> 01:46:57,080 [SWISH] 1283 01:46:58,070 --> 01:47:00,030 [SCREAMS] 1284 01:47:02,480 --> 01:47:03,880 Silencio, idiot. 1285 01:47:03,880 --> 01:47:04,770 What happened? 1286 01:47:04,770 --> 01:47:05,480 Zorro. 1287 01:47:05,480 --> 01:47:07,300 How do you know it's Zorro? 1288 01:47:07,300 --> 01:47:09,400 Look at my behind. 1289 01:47:09,400 --> 01:47:11,340 You know something? 1290 01:47:11,340 --> 01:47:14,830 This Zorro is getting to be a pain in the ass. 1291 01:47:14,830 --> 01:47:19,990 NARRATOR: --sex, flamenco dancing, perversion, 1292 01:47:19,990 --> 01:47:22,450 horseback riding, torture-- 1293 01:47:22,450 --> 01:47:24,420 [SCREAMING] 1294 01:47:24,420 --> 01:47:33,410 --lesbians, sword fighting, naked girls, entertainment. 1295 01:47:33,410 --> 01:47:36,950 All in the audacious, outrageous, "The Erotic 1296 01:47:36,950 --> 01:47:39,000 Adventures of Zorro." 1297 01:47:39,000 --> 01:47:42,180 All the memorable characters of this beloved classic 1298 01:47:42,180 --> 01:47:44,730 come to life before your very eyes. 1299 01:47:44,730 --> 01:47:46,650 The evil alcalde-- 1300 01:47:46,650 --> 01:47:48,320 [LAUGHTER] 1301 01:47:48,320 --> 01:47:51,770 --the equally evil Esteban Velazquez-- 1302 01:47:51,770 --> 01:47:55,640 I had the finest cock in Barcelona-- 1303 01:47:55,640 --> 01:47:58,010 NARRATOR: --the virginal Maria-- 1304 01:47:58,010 --> 01:48:00,670 Father, how can you say such things? 1305 01:48:00,670 --> 01:48:04,050 I mean, if I were to become a nun, I must remain a virgin. 1306 01:48:04,050 --> 01:48:05,280 What a waste. 1307 01:48:05,280 --> 01:48:11,800 NARRATOR: --the experienced Helena, the kindly priest-- 1308 01:48:11,800 --> 01:48:17,200 The military schools can do funny things to a boy. 1309 01:48:17,200 --> 01:48:19,410 NARRATOR: --Sergeant Felipio Latio-- 1310 01:48:19,410 --> 01:48:22,130 But when you do what I want you to do, 1311 01:48:22,130 --> 01:48:24,480 you'll still be a virgin. - No. 1312 01:48:24,480 --> 01:48:26,270 I can't. 1313 01:48:26,270 --> 01:48:28,470 [INAUDIBLE] Fear not. 1314 01:48:28,470 --> 01:48:31,450 Relief is just a swallow away. 1315 01:48:31,450 --> 01:48:33,580 NARRATOR: --Rosita and Margarita-- 1316 01:48:33,580 --> 01:48:36,430 And they're virgins, comandante. 1317 01:48:36,430 --> 01:48:37,790 Virgins. 1318 01:48:37,790 --> 01:48:39,810 NARRATOR: --Graciela [INAUDIBLE].. 1319 01:48:39,810 --> 01:48:42,200 [LAUGHTER] 1320 01:48:43,150 --> 01:48:44,590 Mwah. 1321 01:48:44,590 --> 01:48:46,470 NARRATOR: They're all here to thrill you anew. 1322 01:48:46,470 --> 01:48:47,680 [SWISH] 1323 01:48:47,680 --> 01:48:49,480 Parental guidance recommend. 1324 01:48:49,480 --> 01:48:50,240 [SWISH] 1325 01:48:50,240 --> 01:48:54,280 Have your parents guide you to this theater to see "The Erotic 1326 01:48:54,280 --> 01:48:55,350 Adventures of Zorro." 1327 01:48:55,350 --> 01:48:56,330 [BLADE SWISHING] 1328 01:48:56,330 --> 01:48:57,550 Adiós, comandante. 1329 01:48:57,550 --> 01:49:01,600 NARRATOR: The first adult movie rated Z, "The Erotic 1330 01:49:01,600 --> 01:49:03,130 Adventures of Zorro." 1331 01:49:03,130 --> 01:49:04,550 [BLADE SWISHING] 1332 01:49:05,500 --> 01:49:07,180 And for those selective few of you 1333 01:49:07,180 --> 01:49:10,450 with a taste for the hard stuff, here are a few of the scenes 1334 01:49:10,450 --> 01:49:12,370 that made it so hard for us. 1335 01:49:12,370 --> 01:49:15,340 [MUSIC PLAYING] 1336 01:49:21,280 --> 01:49:24,450 If you're old enough to vote, you're old enough to see it. 1337 01:49:24,450 --> 01:49:27,520 And you'll vote it the best you've ever seen. 1338 01:49:27,520 --> 01:49:29,530 "The Erotic Adventures of Zorro." 1339 01:49:29,530 --> 01:49:31,980 [BLADE SWISHING]